Behind The Church

XXII

Kate

A week.

A week that I haven't heard from Tina or the kids. She always hangs up my calls and ignores my texts. But I know she's okay because she attends online school and keeps up with TikTok trends. Frequently.

Was it because I said that I wasn't ready to move in yet? That's when the line when dead. But it's still not that big of a deal. Right? It's nothing to ghost me from.

"Any news from Tina, spud?" Mammy asks me.

"No, I'm tempted to go over there."

"You should. It's not right that she's denying you contact with your kids. Why is she ignoring you anyway?"

"Because I told her that I wasn't so sure about moving in with her."

"Well, why not? I think it's probably for the best. You both need each other. Clearly. And the kids will love it. It will make quarantine a lot more bearable for you all. And when it's over, you can go out together as a family. Not worry about having to pick the other up and what not."

I see Mammy's point, but what about the fans? We've kept it secret for so long. I don't want to disappoint them.

I voice this much to Mammy, and she gives me a look of disbelief and disappointment.

"Kate. Listen to yourself! She's upset that you're choosing millions of people over her. She probably feels unloved. Don't let something as silly as that get in the way of you being happy with the love of your life and your babies! I suggest you apologise to Tina and get packing."

Is that really how she feels? God, I'm such an idiot. Why would I even think that I should care about what they think?

I get my shoes on and grab my mask, head out to my car and drive too the store to pick up some flowers and chocolate and then to Christina's house. I'm not expecting her to forgive me straight away, but I'd like to start working on it.

I pull into her driveway, taking a breath before I put my mask on and make my way to the front door.

Knock knock knock.

I hear footsteps and the door unlocks, opens and I watch as Tina steps back to create distance. She also has a mask on.

"Hi." I start.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, defensively. She eyes the roses I have in my had and the bag in the other.

"I came to apologise. I was being an idiot. I was choosing people who I don't know over the literal love of my life. I made you feel hurt, unloved, angry and upset. I'm sorry. And if you don't mind, I'd like to take you up on that offer of moving in."

"It's about time." I see her crack a smile under her mask. "Come here."

I step into the house and she closes the door behind me. She rips off her mask and throws it somewhere and does the same to mine. Our lips connect with passion and longing.

"I missed you." I whisper into the kiss.

"I missed you, too." she said, pulling away and hugging me. I feel warm, and happy.

"I forgive you." Christina declares, pulling away from me and looking deep into my eyes with her gorgeous blue ones.

"Thank you."

"But I need to tell you something."

"Anything."

"I've been having bad dreams. About when Dad made me..." she trailed off. But I don't need the rest of the sentence I already know.

"Are you okay? Are you struggling? Do we need to call Doctor Clarke?"

"No. But it's made me really insecure because afterwards, I'd dream of you screaming at me and then leaving me, taking the kids with you." she starts to cry.

"Oh, Tina. I'm so sorry. I'd never leave you. You know that? And I'd never take those beautiful babies away from you. They deserve to have their Mama in their lives. And you know what? I'm glad that you were the one to take my virginity. It makes me feel comforted that you did it and even more so because you saved my life. I'm not angry about it. I'm not upset. I'm just happy it wasn't some random guy or your Dad. It was you, it was always supposed to be you. It just happened a little earlier than we had expected. Okay?"

"Okay." Tina nods and sniffs.

"Mommy!" I hear Zoey exclaim. She hops up the stairs and flies into my arms.

"Hi, baby." I smile.

"Why are you here?" she questions.

"I'm gonna move in with you guys. I missed you all too much."

"Really?!" my daughter shrieked.

"Yeah, but try to keep your voice down. That was a bit loud." I wince.

"Okay, Mommy." she whispers.

"Go and get your sister for me. We're gonna have a family night, I think." Tina tells Zoey.

"Yes, Mama!" Zoey nods and drops from my arms, shouting after Ruth as she goes.

"Kids." Christina chuckles.

"I'm gonna text my Mammy to bring some stuff over, okay?"

"You do that. In the meantime, I'll get some snacks and a movie to put on."

"Sounds great."