Set in Stone [Minsung]

Part 2 - Chapter 6

[A/N: Warning: brief description of a panic attack and unhealthy coping mechanisms. Again, credits to Genius lyrics. 25% of this whole fic is just my favourite skz songs. Enjoy!]

I try to hide this feeling that I can't control

I get carried away by this feeling that I can't control

JISUNG, ONE YEAR LATER

Sometimes, Jisung wishes he had the power to forget anything he wants.

If he could, he'd choose to un-hear one specific sentence. Despite a year already having passed, he can still hear it, clear as day, ringing in the silence, echoing in his ears whenever his mind lingers for too long in the past.

"I will not repeat my mistakes."

Was that all that Jisung was to Minho? A mistake? A mistake he has sworn never to repeat again? Jisung has tried his hardest to accept this fact. He wasn't important to Minho. He was a distraction, a regret. He's experienced enough heartbreak over the past year, so much so that he should be immune to the pain. But every time he comes back to the thought of his insignificance in the eyes of the only person he's ever truly loved, what remains of his heart shatters again, scattering fragments of itself like dead leaves in the wind. It's foolish of him to still care, he knows. He should move on, go out and meet someone new and distracting. That had been his goal a few months into the heartbreak; he'd spent an unhealthy number of nights at clubs and bars, searching for an outlet for all this agony in the form of pleasure. Every time he'd gotten close to an interested stranger, he'd chicken out and flee, a hopeless cycle.

A copy of the certificate his group won at the music showcase is framed and hung in plain sight on one of the walls of his very own studio. He was granted his own space after being graciously recommended by Chan to the department head. He keeps the certificate of merit in his line of sight as both motivation and a reminder to just move on, like every other normal person would do. After the truth came out, their project group shrunk until only Felix remained as the sole dancer. Jisung would have joined him, having learnt some of the basics by watching Minho, but, selfishly, it hurt too much. The pain is also what might have caused his group their loss. He was the one who chose to kick out Hyunjin and Seungmin, and rejected Chan's help because he resented how they lied, even though he knew they had no other choice. He was right in not expecting to win the grand prize anymore after all that chaos. At least he was noticed by a tiny music company, which he now contracts with on the side.

Objectively speaking, Jisung's life is good. He's going to graduate this year, and he already has a job reserved for him at the company. His friends have been so supportive. It took him several months, but he finally forgave Chan and, eventually, Hyunjin and Seungmin, much to his other friends' chagrin. It took them a few more months to accept the former bodyguards and ex-prince back into their group. After all, none of this was their fault. They explained everything once everyone else was willing to listen: Minho never wanted to leave. He was blackmailed by the prime minister himself.

He really, truly loved Jisung.

And yes, Jisung does believe that - at least sometimes. But he's forced himself to bury his own love for many reasons. One, because Minho is the bloody Crown Prince, who's supposed to be married and crowned. Two, because nothing good or real will ever come out of this love. Three, because it hurts too fucking much to admit he's still hopelessly in love with Lee Minho, not as the prince, but as the dancer who bridal-carried Jisung around, cooked for him, took him out on dates, became his first time, adored him. Those precious moments together should not have been, and yet those memories are ones Jisung cherishes the most. He always will.