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You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you ——————————————————————
Nikki has spent nearly every second of every day in the studio, he's so happy with how things are sounding with Corabi but apart of me feels completely un easy about everything lately.
I feel like i've been doing this all alone, but I don't want to make it an issue because I know how happy he has been, but i'm sacrificing my happiness for his....maybe i'm being selfish but I think that's slightly unfair especially since he hasn't noticed.
I'm currently upstairs changing Deckers diaper when I hear the door bell. I struggle to tie it as he's starting to wriggle around.
" Please can you just stay still " I mutter under my breath.
The door bell goes off again.
" Ughh two seconds " I yell knowing whoever it is won't hear me.
Finally I manage to fix the diaper I walk down the stairs with Decker on my hip, he's starting to come into himself, he tugs my hair as I reach for the door.
" What the hell took you so long " Emi says laughing as she makes her way into the house.
I stand there looking at her with dead eyes.
" Isn't it obvious " I say as my son has a chunk of my hair in his tiny fist.
We make our way into the kitchen, she looks around.
" Don't, say, anything " I mutter putting Decker in his play pen.
" I wasn't...are you okay, you seem... "
" Agitated, exhausted, run down....take your pick because I am all of those things " I grab two cups pouring the strong coffee I had made earlier.
" No...I was just gonna say you're not yourself" Emi says with a sad expression.
" Well i'm glad you noticed because my husband is living in his own little fantasy world...I understand this is what being a mother is about you know... cleaning and feeding and all that but you'd think he would say oh no honey i'll take the night feed you get some rest " I stand with my hand on my hip.
" Damn...I don't know what to say, I feel like you should tell him this cause he's a man and you'll be waiting forever for him to notice "
" That's the thing I can't say it upfront because I don't want to burst his bubble, he's so happy with the band at the moment I don't want to be the nagging wife who he'll stop wanting to come home to " I run my fingers through my hair in annoyance.
I feel like i'm at a cross roads and either road I take will lead to a dead end.
" But you have to say something Soph look at you! You're pale, with bags under your eyes and looked like you haven't showered in weeks, and i'm saying this out of a place of love because I know you won't have to guts to say it to him, and who knows you guys might meet each other half way" Emi shrugs.
