𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚘𝚢 𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝙳𝚘𝚘𝚛

13

Imani

-SEPTEMBER-

The smell of sterilized packaging, and hand sanitizer filled the air. As we passed by many people, I also caught the smell of antiseptic, or coffee from a worker who was probably pulling a double shift.

I mindlessly walked through the hall following the officer to my mothers room. I felt numb. Just remember all the shit that happened in my life. It all ending with us in the hospital.

"This way." He spoke to me, briefly looking back at me to make sure I was following. We made a right down the hallway, and another one after that, soon landing us in front of room 404.

I brushed my palms against my pants to rid the sweat they've collected. My heart thumped in my chest as if it was begging to jump out of my body. As I walked in, I paled. She was hooked up to machines and IVs providing her with all the nutrients she needed. Her face was sweaty, and her hair stuck to her like second skin. Her face was sunken in and it looked as if she hadn't eatin in days.

"Is she alright?" I asked the nurse who was in the room checking on her.

"Yes, she's just resting now." Was all she said before going back to her clip board.

"Where did you guys find her?" Turning to the officer, waiting for him to speak and give me all the answers I seek. "She was passed out on a park bench and someone called it in. Said she was foaming out the mouth and shaking."

I felt my stomach sinking in. Tears started to spring from my eyes, but I quickly wiped them up.

Don't cry... you've told her many times that she needed to stop this!

I try to convince myself not to get upset when this was what I've always expected from her. She was never gonna get better.

"How old are you miss?" The officer, who's name I've yet to learn, asks me. "I'm 17."

"Do you have anyone you can stay with for the time being? Until your mother is out of the hospital and better?" I shook my head no.

We didn't have anyone. Everyone gave up on us a long time ago. "Do you feel comfortable being alone at this time?" He asks me again.

No, but what choice do I honestly have. "Thank you officer, but I'll be okay. If I need company I can call a friend to come over." He nods at me then turns to the nurse to ask her more questions.
I tune them out and focus on my mother.

My eyes drifted to her hand which had tubes sticking from them. I wanted to grasp it, but I couldn't.

As much as I didn't want my mother to die, I still resented her for everything. It was like I was fighting a battle with myself.

On the inside, I wanted to cry and beg her to wake up and get better. I wanted to cause a scene, but I knew that would make us look questionable. On the outside, my face just held a numb expression. A blank void.

~*~

Two hours later, I was home alone in my house. The sun was setting and the sky casted an orange shadow over the town. I sat by my window just staring blankly, my mind drifting off to better days.

I tried to start my homework but my mind was obviously occupied with depressing thoughts. Finally when I couldn't take it anymore, I got up, grabbed my phone and keys and headed out the door.

I needed to take a walk. I couldn't be in that quiet and empty house any longer. I'd rather have my mother blast her music or burst into my bedroom and yell at me.

I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts.

When I locked the door, I stormed off. Walking this way and that. Not really sure of where I wanted to go, I just knew I wanted to go somewhere.