𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄, steve randle

05 | she's gone

FIVE , SHE'S GONE

NOT MUCH TIME HAS PASSED. i'm still sitting on the couch next to steve, while ponyboy and darry went to bed.

johnny and sodapop are still sitting at the kitchen table, playing a card game. the television screen is playing some sort of show that i've never once seen in my life.

steve seems interested in it considering he hasn't payed any mind to anything else. i fee super out of place here and i don't feel comfortable staying here for the night. maybe if i ran off in the middle of the night, everything would be okay.

but where would i go? i have nowhere to go.

my eyes start getting heavy, today has been rough and all i want to do is sleep. my vision is growing dark as my head starts to lean to the side.

i get comfortable next to steve and rest my head on his shoulder, not even realizing what mistake i had made.

i drift off to sleep anyways.

i awake with a start, it's dark outside still and someone's sleeping next to me.

steve. my head is resting on his shoulder and it's freezing. soda and johnny have disappeared from the kitchen table, meaning they must've gone to sleep.

i notice johnny sleeping on the floor, he looks uncomfortable being compare but i don't say anything or do anything to change that.

i can't be here anymore. i feel the nerves kicking in as i gently lift my head from steve's shoulder. he mutters something but doesn't wake up.

he's so perfect. i think, smiling down at him and starting to walk towards the front door.

i don't have time to regret leaving, i don't have a heart to tell them that i'm leaving. i just left, not knowing where i'd go.

i grab my suitcase from the car and stroll it down the driveway.

ˢᵗᵉᵛᵉ'ˢ ᵖᵒᵛ!

the first thing i think of when i wake up is where the fuck is sunny. johnny's laying on the floor but nobody else is anywhere in sight. i check the clock next to me, four in the morning?

you're overthinking this. maybe she just went to the bathroom? i slip down the hallway and notice that nobody is in the bathroom. she left. my heart drops in my chest as i trudge back to the living room.

then my heart rate picks up as i realize how dangerous it is this early in the morning with nobody to protect you and nobody there to be a witness.

i fling the front door open as i hurry to my truck, it's unlocked, i though i locked it? her suitcase is gone.

i start running down the street, calling her name. she never shows up, even when i've been out for three hours, searching for her.

i feel defeated, resting my hands on my knees and breathing heavily.

now i have to go to work, great. i can barely keep my eyes open and i've never felt so upset before.

i wish you would come back. i think to myself as i gaze up at the morning sky.

she never showed up at the gas station all day, every single hope inside my body vanished as i missed her more every second.

sodapop noticed, he patted my back but never said much of anything. i'm glad he doesn't, i just want to be left alone anyways.

by the time it's been two weeks, i haven't seen her once.

she could be dead. she probably thought we were too poor and left. she went back to her cheating boyfriend.

everyday when i go into work, i look for her in the crowd of girls that come for sodapop, in hopes that one of them is her.

after a whole month, i realized she's not coming back. it was hard to deal with but i distracted myself with someone else, even though she never lit up the room like sunny did.

she was like me, a greaser with a broken family. it was easier this way, things with sunny never would've worked out even if she never ran away.

i would be lying if i said i never would've wanted to figure that out, because i would rather have loved her and lost her rather than losing her the day i got her.

johnny admitted to never had seen sunny leave, neither had anyone else. it was hopeless, i didn't know where she lived before and i didn't know any of her friends.

one day though, she came back.

peace sign
-molly