Thantophobia | mle

0.2

Ok so this is probably confusing but the first chapter was her backstory and this is her now, the story takes place in an asylum.

Present ;

keeping my head above water is all that i know how to do

but it's kinda beautiful underneath it all

The lyrics of born sad by Mary lambert blasted through my cheap nearly broken white headphones as I walked down the white fluorescent hallways in my light blue hospital robe. i continuously pulled the back of the robe back together in attempt to hide my white uniformed underwear.

I have been getting worse since I started therapy, so they moved me here, Grierford juvenile asylum.

Once i saw the black bold letters that read room 405 i stopped and walked into my room. once i got to my bed I pulled out my notebook and began writing.

Wednesday, March 21

I got a visit from Ava and Caleb today. Caleb smiled a lot, he's found a girl, her name is Willow. He says she's beautiful, I wish I could be out there with them to see how good he's getting. Ava says she's getting better but her eyes and wrists say different. Everyday there's a deeper cut than the day before, her eyes are always glazed over, and she's become very distant. If she doesn't get help she's gonna die soon. Caleb doesn't notice though, he's gotten farther from her, he is planning on moving in with Willow. I don't want ava to be alone for I fear she will do something she will regret

I put my book under my mattress when I heard the speakers blast the same alarm notifying everyone to go to the cafeteria. I filed out the room into the waterfall of blue gowns walking down the hall steadily and flowing like liquid silver into the plain white room filled with white chairs and white tables. one by one everyone sat down and faced toward Ms.Grierford, the owner, she only comes to this horrid place when something big happens so we all knew it was serious.

She cleared her throat and clicked her red heels before speaking. "Children, we will have a group of children coming from taint borne asylum joining our ensemble tomorrow. Sadly the taint borne asylum was 'invaded' yesterday so they are breaking the children up and sending them in different directions. I'm sorry to say this but if you do not share a room people from the city council will send builders in to build an extra bed in your room. Any questions?"

I groaned when I was informed about having to share a room. Without warning a hand shot into the air from the front of the room. when they were finally called on they cleared their throat and continued "what do you mean invaded?".

A chorus of 'yeah' and 'whys' echoed through the room only to be drowned out by Ms.grierfood's voice booming off the walls. "Someone from inside the asylum set the asylum on fire." everyone gasped and began whispering. I mean yeah we all hate this place but we wouldn't go that far.

A little while later Ms.grierford dismissed us and the guards escorted us to our rooms. Once I heard the click of the metal door closing I began taking down my posters from one half of the room and layering them onto the side with my bed on it. After the walls were bare I began moving all the stuff I clustered everywhere to make the house feel less white. Once I was finished I layed in my bed and waited for the guards to flip the switch that controls all the bedrooms lights. As I waited i looked at my room and saw my side clustered and chaotic while the other stay white and bare. Soon later the lights shut off and i fell asleep.

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I was awoken the next day by my black digital alarm that displayed 4:34 am in neon green numbers. I groaned and hit the off button before getting up and stumbling into the bathroom which was conveniently connected to my side of the room. I looked at my self in the mirror and saw the same thing I see everyday; A girl who wants to be wanted, a girl who no longer has a sparkle in her eyes, a girl with bags under her eyes, a girl who wants to belong somewhere. I sighed and put my long matted brown hair into a ponytail and splashed water in my face to fully wake my up before I got dressed into my day uniform which was a light blue baggy tshirt and since it was summer we got to where white shorts, not jean shorts though because someone tried to hurt themselves with the button, I then slipped on my white hospital slippers which were almost identical to white toms.

Once the alarm sounded everyone went to the cafeteria so the builders could work on the rooms and the other teens could get into the rooms without a herd of light blue wearing freaks surrounding them. Everyone went into their groups, yes even in an asylum there are fucking groups. You have the drop dead gorgeous girls, the boys that every girl wants, the shy boys, the bad boys, the shy girls, the bad girls, etc. Then you have me, the girl with the ponytail that sits in the corner alone. No one bothered sitting at the table I was at because everyone already had someone.

After an hour of waiting we all filed out and toward our rooms. I opened the heavy metal door which revealed posters of all the things I love littering the walls and a blue bed and pictures placed in certain spots making my side of the room look even more chaotic. My new roommate was no where to be seen so I took it as a sign to snoop, thus why I was looking at a picture of a puppy and a little boy with dirty blonde hair holding a black kitten when someone cleared their throat from the bathroom door frame. Startled, I dropped the picture frame on the bed and chuckled nervously before saying sorry and avoiding looking at the person till I reached my bed. Once I finally had the guts to look up my green eyes were met with a pair of hazel eyes which belonged to a boy ,who looked as if he hadn't slept in a week, sitting on the new bed. He looked as if he was gonna smile until his eyes darkened and the words flew out of mouth;

"Don't touch my shit pretty girl"

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this chapter turned out way better than I expected.

expect another one tomorrow, have fun reading.