Thantophobia | mle

0.3

I ran down the hallways, the only sounds to be heard were my feet padding against the tile, my ragged breathing and the loud alarm bouncing off the walls. I looked at the clock displayed on my left, 9:30 pm. Only one minute till the bedroom doors lock and the lights shut off.

Just as I heard the click I tumbled into our now black room, with my arms out I stumbled trying to find my bed in fear of bumping into my wonderful new roommate. Just as I was about to sit on what I thought was my bed I heard soft breathing coming from where I was about to lay. I gulped and slowly walked the opposite way only to hit my hip against the wooden frame of my bed. I grabbed my hip and bit my lip,whimpering in attempt not to wake the beast.

I stood up and began walking only to hit my head on the shelf that was conveniently placed right beside my bed. Losing control I fell onto the ground with a thud and said a few profanities on the way down. Almost instantly i heard quiet footsteps coming towards me, I expected it to be the guards coming to check on me. So I began defending myself.

"look, i know we are supposed to be in bed but I hit my hip and head. I can explain just please don't take me to the correction facility I don't want to go back, it won't happen again I swear-" I was cut off by the rough morning voice of a teen boy.

"shut up, its just me. come on lets get a flashlight and make sure you aren't gonna die." he chuckled softly and strong arms picked me up and sat me on the soft surface of my bed. A few moments later a dull light filled the small area which contained me and the bed.

"Why are you being so nice?" I looked up at him.

"Eh. My names Matthew by the way." He shrugged as if he really didn't know why he was being so nice.

"I'm Violet, and as you can see I'm extremely clumsy." I smiled

"They put you in here because your clumsy? oh my gosh you insane freak." He laughed quietly at his own joke, I laughed along with him.

"So, Vi why are you in here? you don't look insane." I smiled at the nickname and began to respond.

"Anxiety and depression disorder, numerous suicide attempts, and I was diagnosed with thantophobia." I counted on my fingers making sure I said each one.

"whats thantophobia?" He looked at me waiting for an answer.

"Thantophobia; the fear of losing someone you love, why are you in here?"

"uh, never mind that. lets make sure your head is ok." I looked at him confused

Once he finished cleaning my cut he got up and began walking to his bed. I grabbed a hold of his hand.

" Thats no fair, I just told you all of that and you just get to walk away, no now sit down and tell me whats wrong with you, because right now I don't see any reason you should be in here, you look like you should be playing football and going to parties, and having a beautiful, stunning girlfriend. So what the fuck is wrong with you." The words flew out of my mouth like word vomit.

"im not telling you shit. Now get the fuck off of me." He spat and stomped over to his bed and threw the blanket over himself. I sighed and laid down before putting in my headphones and listened to the soft singing.

"Girls like us are hardly ever wanted, you know? we're used up and were sad and drunk and perpetually waiting by the phone for someone to pick up and tell us we did good.

You did good." 

Not much later my eyes began to droop, and I let darkness consume me.