Hold my hand (you're not alone)

People

People

                                                                         That person
That's a subject, that’s a subject that either can make some people uncomfortable or two makes people not stop talking. These types of people that talk are different. These types of people like attention, a lot of attention. They will lie about things just for attention. They lie about things that they know are happening or happened to others, make it their own and then say don’t tell and then they tell everyone themselves. These types of people tell their lies so many times they even start to believe it. They keep going into these lies digging and digging down deeper till they're trapped in a white lie that they can’t get out of. Whenever you mention cutting or any kind of trauma they will either come in and interrupt or save the story for later and make it their own. These types of people make my head hurt. They lie and lie but for what? Why do they need so much attention that you have to make up fake trauma or stories? Are you not paying attention at home? If so, tell that not someone else's story made into your own. People like this have no right to be like this. Why take someone's past and make it your own, especially if it's trauma! I think the most aggravating thing is that they're all introverts until they have a story.

Bullying
When you're lost in a world where you can’t escape it’s hard. You want to die. We’ve all bullied people at one time or another even if it was a post you liked about someone or a little look, act, or word we’ve all bullied. Not all of us have been bullied. It’s ok to not like someone, it’s ok if someone doesn't like you but what's not ok is to call someone a pig or fat or call to a girl nice ass or wishes nice rack, I like to be stepped on by that, or to tall people hows the weather up there, nice in the sky huh? The list can go on and on but those are some I've been called. It’s never fun to get bullied. You don’t know how other people are feeling or dealing with it. Let's put it from a middle/high school point of view. 18.8% of high school students seriously considered attempting suicide and 8.9% actually attempted suicide. (cdc,2019) I couldn’t find middle schoolers but this is a real thing and most of it is bullying that causes depression that causes intrusive thoughts that equal suicide.

Friends
Why? Why be my friend? Are you my friend? What is a true friend? A true friend is someone that can deal with your shit and doesn't run off after your first fight. A true friend is someone that loves you even though you're shit to them and yourself. Yet they still stick with you. A true friend is someone you love so much that if you lose them you'll not be able to get up in the morning. A friend is someone you can share some serious stuff with and they listen. They don’t try to one up you on your problems. They just sit and listen. That’s what a friend is. Not someone who tries to make you feel bad when you already do that enough yourself. When someone always has your back no matter what. Always there for you, never leaving when things get tough. If they do leave you fight for them. Make sure you don't let a good thing run away. Even if that means just taking some time apart. Make it a point to always find your way back. If they are truly a good friends, they care, want to help you. Want to fix any bad things.

That person (part 2)
I miss the times when we were just innocent kids. Playing in the backyard on the swing set. I miss how we could talk about who would win in a fight, Batman or Superman. Now the only thing that you can talk about is how bad your mental health is. It seems like it’s always a part of a conversation. At least when you're around “That person”. “That person” always needs attention yet the attention that you give them is never ever enough. Trying to please “That person” is like trying to please your parents with grades. Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't, you never know what you're going to get. You could give that person enough attention for that day and then they have new stories that require more time, energy, and attention than you could ever get. So they go out to get more attention from others. Making you the bad guy because you wouldn't indulge in the stories that you knew were made up.

Influence(r)
What do you think of when you think of the word influence, an influencer on social media right? That’s kinda what I’m talking about but not quite. I’m talking about a personal influence, someone who influences you to be just like them. These “influencers” are mean and try to push that meanness onto you. If you indulge in this behavior you have officially been influenced. They try to get you to follow their example. The top move that they will use on you is gaslighting or manipulation. My advice for the people that are the “influencers” I say this. Stop, you're going to end up with zero friends. To the ones being influenced I say. You can’t always keep yourself from these people but once they show their true colors, they will, no matter how hard it may be, drop them. Get better friends, get out of the drama and manipulation. Trust me it will make your life so much better.

Being trapped
When you start to feel like you're in a never ending maze. You feel as if you're in a cage or a bubble that you can’t get out of. What I mean is that there’s always that person that is going to find a way to get back to you. You could never talk to that person and just glance at them in the hallway. Or you see a person that looks like them. It just sends you into a spiral. You can’t escape this one person that makes you feel sick to your stomach. Everytime you see them your mind goes blank, it's just them. Just that one person. That one face that makes your heart go crazy, your head pound, your mind spiral. Make you get that feeling deep in your stomach. Just the  thought of them makes you wanna cry. That's what being trapped is. You can’t escape that one thing, that one person, that one feeling. It’s inescapable. That never ending tearing at your stomach. That’s the feeling of being trapped, locked in an inaccessible cage.

Revenge
Revenge can be a sweet thing. You can be smart about revenge. You can also be dumb. You can plan, think, and act. Or you could act without planning or even thinking. When you just act you act on instinct. You are blind to the world around you. You have one thing on your mind… Revenge. Now on the other hand you can be smart about it. Planning and thinking. Finally everything comes to play. If you plan poorly you get hurt. But with the right help, the right people. You can watch as the people you hate burn. Planning takes time. Time is money but although time might be money, time can also be the best thing for revenge. You can get more dirt or more information. Information that can make or break a person and or a relationship. That person's reputation even. There are many ways that you can get revenge. Yet at the end of the day the main question is “is revenge the answer.” Make sure you always make that decision before you sit there and waste your time planning the revenge.

Love with another?
In my opinion being in love is a curse and a blessing. Being in love means you feel safe. You feel sick when you're with them. You think about them constantly. You feel as if you can be yourself and not be judged for it. Being in love is hard. Love is something that can be given and taken away. When it gets taken away from you your heart breaks. Some people resent love. They refuse to fall in love because they are too scared of what happens to them if they lose it. Having someone to love means you're never alone. You get butterflies when you think about them. After a long period of time you're still getting those butterflies. But when you start losing love it hurts. When you have felt love and then lose it, that is the curse.  

Take control
Your brain is a vital part of your life. Not taking care of it can be bad. Yet sometimes we can’t control that. It's hard to learn to care, once you don’t care about it again. Giving up is easy. Trying to stay in control of your life is really hard. Not letting people take over your life. Letting them make your day bad because they showed up. Take control. You're giving that person power when you let them ruin your day. You're letting them win by not caring. When you give up they win. You have to take control. You have to take over and not give them the power that you need. The power of them controlling you. They try to get to your head and ignore them. Don’t give them time, energy, or thought. They don’t deserve the attention. They want to get a reaction out of you. Don't give them the satisfaction. Take control.