Lost In The Darkness

CHAPTER 005-THE BODY

TW: su!cidal thoughts, and se!fharm, please skip this part if you don't feel comfortable.

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What if something bad has happened to Barb? What if she was kidnapped?

Her thoughts were taking the best of her on her way to Mike's house to go over the Mirkwood Operation.
She had no clue how this thing was supposed to go, she only wanted to help find Will and keep Dustin friend group safe.

Bu her mind was somewhere else. Somewhere she was trying her best to stay out of it.
Her mind was a dark place, a scary place. How can you possibly fear your on mind. She kept asking herself that question and never got an answer, she just has been stuck between wanting to live and wanting to die.

There are so many reason to want to live but there are so many reason to give up.

Is it weird to wish death.

Her mom always told her that life's to short to waste it on being something that you aren't.

She guessed that was true.

She never meant to be bad  unwell  or unhappy, she was just standing on the edge between heaven and hell. And she was just tired.

To even take a walk on the wildside it wouldn't hurt as much as her mind.

She just wanted to speak another language other than silent.

That day when Miles find out about her selfharm, she wasn't prepared for it.
She never wanted for him to find out, she could never forget his horrified look. He wasn't mad but he was just guilty, like it was his fault.

Miles had problems off his one but Alaska made sure to stay with him every time he needed help. Because she liked hepling people. Hepling other leads into forgetting about yourself so she used as an opportunity.

But that day he caught her with blood on her wrist, she thought the dance studio was empty and she did what she thought she had to do.

So now she tries to tell him but not all off the time. Sometimes Miles would know, but sometimes she lies telling him it hasn't happened yet.

Ho weird. Sometimes is a blessing and a curse to feel everything and to not feel anything at all.

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They had meet exactly at a quarter past three behind Mike's house.
To be honest she was quite scared. She didn't now what to expect. Dustin told her about the Demogorgon but she was still debating if it was true. I mean monster don't exist right. But there was a part of her that did sound convinced.

They had to walk on the woods trying to look for any clues.
And she saw Mike and Eleven getting a little bit to close with each other. To be honest she thinks Mike has a crush on Eleven.
She remembered when Mike had a crush on her. Alaska sometimes still makes jokes about it.

'So what's your deal?' - Dustin asked

'What?'

'I mean did something happened at school. You kinda look sad.'

'Nope. Just tired of my practice.'

'Really that's it. Nothing else bothering you.'

'Relaxe mom. Nothing's bothering me.'

Alaska made a joke. But from her brother's look she can tell he didn't like it.

'Sorry.'

'It's okay' - Dustin said but still in a sad tone.

'I'm fine Dustin. You don't have to worry about me. I'm okay.'
'But common now shit heads we have a loooong walk to do.'

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