Liquor and a Letter

I Need To Be Saved Too

"Love?" Harry croaked again.

"Yes, should I not call you that?" Hermione jovially called as she plated the toast and poured him a glass of orange juice.

With nothing else to do in response to her, Harry simply laughed. He laughed until his sides hurt and crumbled to his knees in hysterics. This had to be a sick joke she was playing on him. There was absolutely zero other explanation. There could have been the reason that he must have gone insane but people with insanity don't know they're like that.

"Is everything all right, love?" Hermione asked concernedly.

Harry only erupted into even more hysterics at her. It felt like a lifetime must have passed before he calmed himself down enough to look at her. Hesitantly, reverently, he cupped her cheek as she bent over to look at him in his sitting position on the floor.

"You're...here?" He sounded like he didn't believe it and didn't trust his senses.

Hermione silently nodded her affirmation to him and felt her heart break at the broken look he shot her once he knew for sure she was real and in front of him.

"I'm so sorry, for everything", he scrambled to her and hugged her around the waist. He was standing on his knees with his head at her midriff and he hugged her tightly around her back, burying his head into her shirt and soaking it with his tears. "I promised myself that if you ever came back, I would drop to my knees and tell you how sorry I am."

"You kept your promise," Hermione softly told him, carding her fingers through his hair and letting him weep into her body. "I'm sorry, too." She hushed him when he tried to talk and would most likely try to tell her not to be sorry. "I'm sorry that I was such a trollop to you after I came back home. You hurt me badly when you sent that letter, Harry. I never thought you could be capable of doing that to me but it was no excuse to treat you the way I did when you were trying to make amends."

"No, no, I deserved it. I was hurt and heartbroken and...bitter but it didn't warrant that stupid ruddy letter. I shouldn't have drank that much and I shouldn't have felt the way I did. I missed my chance with you and I should have accepted it." His voice was muffled against her belly but it didn't sound any less regretful, any less hurt.

"Even so, you clearly were trying to be better for me and I tossed you aside. The truth is, Harry, is that I'm afraid of you," he pulled back and looked up at her with a look that could only be described as anguish so she hurried on, "I'm afraid of how you make me feel. When I'm with you, the good things feel like heaven and the bad things feel like hell. When you sent that bloody message, I felt like I was burning in hell. I didn't want to risk letting you back into my heart and forgiving you because I didn't think I could risk you hurting me like that again."

She knelt to his level after her confession and forced him to look at her. Having him this close to her was bringing back all the feelings she fought long and hard to keep buried. Years ago, she decided to ignore them but she couldn't do so now. No, she was going to take the plunge and hope he would catch her.

"Harry, please open your eyes," she told him in a whispered plea. He cracked them open and she could see them rife with unshed tears, reflecting her own. "There's a reason everything is so magnified with you, there's a reason only you can take me to the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. You scare me, not because of who you are, but because of how much I care about you."

He nodded his understanding but she could tell he wasn't quite understanding what she was saying. Maybe he didn't believe she still loved him or maybe he didn't want to do so. Whatever the reason, she was going to set him straight.

"I love you, Harry Potter. I never stopped and I never will."

Hermione became concerned when he stared at her with awe on his face and didn't speak for a long moment. She almost thought he was frozen in place but his eyes kept looking her up and down, likely trying to gauge if she was being truthful with him. When he still didn't do anything in response, she leant her forehead against his. "You can say something now," she tried to joke with him.