After using cow urine to clean ourselves off, we went off to biology class. We had to skip lunch since the baddie alien girl wasted too much school-time. Saji kept us well fed though. He gave us some organic fungi-chips, grown off of his father's feet. They were a bit salty, but overall not so bad.
When we entered Biology class, we found something very strange. We saw a giant venus fly trap plant, and neither our classmates or teacher, Ms. Menezueliano, who was sleeping with Mr. Sakiedos, who was married.
"Hey, why is nobody here?", Misnaha asked.
"Yea and why is there a huge plant in the room, this is so freaky weekie lemon squeaky!", Suki said as she continued to eat the fungi chips.
"I think that plant ate them!", Saji said.
"Yea!", Tharasa said. She was so dreamy. I wish I, Katy Satty could make out with her passionately with the tongue.
"Maybe we could eat the plant for vitamins and minerals 🤔", Arlit said.
"Oh my goodie woodieness! Arli-Warli-Baby-Wabby! You're so cutie-wootie-patootie-badookie and smarty-warty-farty-barty-tarty!", Misnaha said with hearts in her eyes.
"Aww, thanks babe!", Arlit said with even bigger hearts in his eyes.
"Hey...", I said, completely flabbergasted.
"What's wrong?", Tharasa said, which made me blush.
"D-do you h-hear that? It sounds like somebody screaming and it's coming from the huge venus fly trap plant", I said, stuttering heavily while blushing and covering my face to hide my shamey lamey wamey.
"Let me get closer, I can't hear it", Misnaha said.
She moved a few meters closer, and the venus fly trap woke up from its slumber and swallowed her in one gulp gulp gulp.
"AHHHHHHHHH", we all screamed, some a bit louder than others(Saji sang using his beautiful voice to scream). His singing reminded me of the previous choir leader, Chloe Santiago. She lost her voice due to drinking using the same glass as her brother who had just finished eating out his girlfriend. She got oral syphilis, herpes and chlamydia. Saji was always a better singer than her though.
"Misnaha! ARE YOU OKAY!", I screamed.
"SHE'S IN A PLANT!", Arlit screamed. "OF COURSE SHE ISN'T OKAY!".
"OH MY GOSH THAT PLANT ATE Misnaha AND THE REST OF OUR CLASSMATES AND OUR TEACHER!", Tharasa screamed, in absolute terror.
"WHAT IF THE PLANTS DIGESTIVE GLANDS DIGEST THEM!", Suki yelled out, feeling horrible about the fact that her friend was devoured and she was not able to do anything about it.
"SOMEBODY NEEDS TO SAVE HER!", Saji shouted.
"BUT WHO?", I asked.
"I'll do it!!!!", Arlit said. He grabbed a large needle and filled it with 85% concentrated acetic acid. He made his way towards the plant and stood in front of it. It ate him up, and he made his way inside its belly.
I used my secret psychic clairvoyant powers and looked inside the beast's stomach. Inside were our classmates, our teacher and Misnaha. Arlit came sliding down the plant's esophagus, and he fell on top of Nathan Newsberry. Nathan was a cafeteria intern. He spit in all the cafeteria food which is why there was a school-wide case of oral gonorrhea. We don't eat cafeteria food so we were not victims of said sexually transmitted disease. Tharasa caught it though since she ate the feces of someone who did catch it. Luckily, Saji gave him some sheep's mucus to cure her. It worked, and she was good as new
Arlit got up, and took his needle full of acetic acid, and stabbed in the flesh of the venus fly trap. The large needle, 50 centimeters long, and 30 centimeters wide emptied into the plant, and within a few minutes, the plant decayed and collapsed. Arlit opened up the plant with his bare hands, and much to his dismay, it squirted all its green juices in his face. It went up his nose, down his throat, in his hair, on his skin and on his clothes. He went from a brown boy to a neon green boy that could've been used as a green-screen. Everybody was flabbergasted at Arlit's display of coolness. That was short lived though as he began to choke on the green plant juices. He coughed it up and was on the floor, violently regurgitating everything he had swallowed because of the plant juices.
He began to projectile vomit on the floor, and all his vomit was neon green, like the plant juices. He had to help him to his feet and smack his back so he could release all his green juices. We had to spray him with a hose so he wouldn't look like the dog that was dyed key-lime green. He ended up swallowing some of the hose water and started choking on it so the school nurse performed the heimlich maneuver on him, but that was a bad idea because he began to projectile vomit again. After Saji used his magical cardiopulmonary resuscitation powers, Arlit was completely fine, and his skin glowed. All those vitamins and minerals must've done wonders for his body. Despite choking on it 17 times and vomiting it up everywhere, he looked 10 years younger, which might not be a good thing since he's 16 years old.
After finally settling down, Misnaha went up to Arlit.
"Thank you so much Arlit-boo-boo-bear! You saved me from becoming plant poop and for that, I'm forever grateful!", Misnaha said with tears of joy forming in her eyes.
"Your welcome Mishie-fishie-dishie-wishie! You're my girlfriend after all, and it's no big deal. I'd do it for you again even if it meant choking on that green plant juice, becoming neon green and projectile vomiting everywhere.
"Aww that's so sweet! You're the best!", Misnaha said.
"No you're the best!", Arlit said,
"No you are!" Misnaha said.
That conversation went on for half an hour. Neither of them won.
During that half hour, I asked somebody about what happened to the plant for it to become so large. Stephanie Peekinson said that somebody put to much fertilizer in a venus fly plant and it grew like 20 feet in 2 seconds. I was curious about how that could've occurred, so I approached Anna Jellyskin, and she said that the fertilizer had crushed xanax pills hidden inside of it which reacted weirdly with the fertilizer and made it super strong. According to Jason Mandela, the school crackhead Emily Lilyson hid the xanax in the fertilizer bags when her parents put her in rehab so nobody would find their rest of her drugs. They should put that skank back in rehab. She's the reason I had to clean up bright-green plant juice projectile vomit.
YOU ARE READING
Lovers
FanfictionMy friend from new zealand wrote this about the group of people that annoy her and wanted it uploaded on Wattpad but was too scared to do it, so I was forced to do so myself.
