The Irish Fall: A Sweet Romantic Comedy Novel

Chapter 3 | Eyre

He kept eyeing me like I was going to change my mind and head straight off the cliff like a character from a Looney Tunes cartoon or whatever the equivalent was here. But he seemed to be watching me because he cared–not out of some duty, pity, or morbid curiosity. More than that, it seemed like he genuinely wanted me to be a part of this very eclectic group of people. Well, actually, a group of women. Okay, really just older ladies who were all staring at him and hanging onto his every flawlessly accented word. I guess they sure knew a fine Irish specimen when they saw it. And they weren't just hanging onto his words either, they were physically hanging on to him as well. It was like he was an attractive adult Irish jungle gym.

After we'd made our way slowly back to rejoin the tour, in between bouts of silence and small talk, I'd gotten to witness for myself how "hands on" his tour really could be. This was definitely a tactile group of ladies. I wanted to laugh out loud every time they touched the ridiculous leprechaun on his shirt or the absurd hat on his head (that trick was just for the ones that hadn't shrunk yet and could still reach it). It was seriously like a Golden Girls convention had come to town and in true Sophia Petrillo style, these women weren't holding back. As if they were channeling Betty White, none of them had forgotten their be-dazzlers or their tracksuits. I was starting to get a little bit of amusement from my Ireland trip, especially from their comical antics. I could even feel a hint of a smile trying to form on my face.

I was beginning to wonder how all these older women had ended up on Darby's tour, but then again, maybe the tour company was just insanely smart. If I had a tour company, I'd definitely put all the older ladies with Darby. Although, I was beginning to think that was a bit of a gamble. He didn't seem like he had a very long fuse for this sort of thing. I mean, I think the apparel alone was perhaps pushing things a little bit too far. He appeared to be somewhat cynical and a little sarcastic from just the few sentiments we'd exchanged. I thought the tour company was very brave but also a little stupid to be rolling the dice with a tour group stacked with this many older ladies. He looked like the overwhelmed dad who had one too many kids tugging on his arm. An inappropriate giggle did actually escape me at that point. As hard as I'd tried, I couldn't contain it.

Darby was already looking at me, but now his eyes widened. He had been looking at me with sheer humor–being a really good sport–but I think the giggle may have sent him over the edge.

"Alright, ladies," he said. "That was the last question for the day."

"Aww." A unison of sorrowful protests broke out and my heart fell a little, seeing the disappointed looks on their faces.

"Darcy, it feels like we just got here. Time moves so quickly with you. Don't you know how precious time is for an old woman that doesn't have that much left?" said one of the youngest looking ones in the bunch.

His eyebrows rocketed upward as he cast them in my direction. The giggle fit only grew and was now becoming pretty uncontrollable.

The group of women shot me angry looks as my uncontrollable laughter cut through the silence. It was like a rabid pack of seagulls all turning their heads at once, zeroing in on their target. I had to bite my lip so hard I thought I was going to draw blood. But it didn't help. My muffled laughter continued in a weird heaving sound. It was so much worse. I guess the stress that had built up inside of me had now decided to expel itself as inappropriate laughter and it wasn't helping the situation.

The one eyebrow he pointed at me and his lopsided upward curved lip had a sexy aura to it. He was mostly intrigued and amused. Challenging me to make my next move and tangle with his flock.

"I just joined the tour so I missed everything. I didn't get to hear anything about this beautiful place." I replaced the laughter with a pathetic pout, but it did little to hide my amusement.

Darby's face fell into a cold, stony stare. A mouth click told me I was in for it, and gone was that glorious, sexy expression. Although this fierce stare was still pretty attractive. Now all the gulls' heads swiveled back towards him with big grins plastered on their faces.

He cleared his throat. "Well, we wouldn't want you to miss out on anything, now would we?" The staring match between us hadn't broken, and I didn't think a winner was going to be able to be declared.

"No," a high-pitched chorus chimed in.

He called out to the bus driver, who was not dressed in the company uniform. Probably a good call. He was more of a "rough and tough" kind of man. I would probably fear for my safety if I handed him a shirt with a caricature of a leprechaun on it. The all-black look suited him much better.

"Oye, Shamus. Will you take the ladies back to the tour office? Please take good care of them. They're all precious treasures. I have some extremely important guide business that popped up here. It's pretty urgent."

Shamus just nodded and grunted his response.

The death glares came at me like dominoes and when the final one fell, I wanted to find a hole to bury myself in.

I pretended like I didn't realize what was happening and proceeded with the ladies back to the large industrial white and green striped shamrock bus that looked way too large and out of place in the bucolic Irish countryside.

Darby took a few very long strides toward me and grabbed my arm. "Oh no, ya don't."

I looked up at him with an alarmed hesitancy. "I thought the whole point of me joining the tour was to be able to get a ride back to a village. How am I supposed to do that if the bus is leaving us?" I asked with incredulity.

"I have a cell phone. You brought this upon yourself." He leaned down and whispered. "Just wave at the ladies nicely. They can—and do—bite."

I watched as the women reluctantly loaded onto the bus and drove away. Their crestfallen faces looked at Darby for as long as possible while they sailed past.

"That wasn't cute, ya know." He turned to look at me as soon as they were out of sight. "Do you really want a tour of this place? Because from what I saw, it seemed you'd had enough of it. I've got something much better in mind."

"Better than the Cliffs of Moher?" I looked at him skeptically.

"Yeah, walk with me. Just be happy it stopped lashing." He looked up at the sky, and it was only then I realized the rain had stopped. "Come on then, better get a move on if we're gonna get back to the village before dark."

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