I'm sitting here in my room........re-thinking everything.
I don't know what to think anymore. I feel like it's the end.
And I hate this feeling, it's just way too familiar.
I'm thinking,and thinking and it's not getting me anywhere.
My mind is replaying everything....and I can't really seem to get it to focus.
Tears are blurrying my sight as I write this. I'm not too sure of things anymore.
I feel so Alone...My emotions and the painful voices are starting to get to me.
I feel like nothing and I don't matter to anyone. I'm shaking thinking of several ways to end this miserable feeling.
I know Suicide isn't the answer but It feel like it's the only way.
My nephews are the reason I'm still alive and trying. After everything I still look to them for strength.
I lost my faith. When I see the world it's no longer full of hope and colors, but nightmares and black and white.
How did everything come to this?
My Brown eyes used to sparkle with life......but now there just as empty as me.
I'm trying, I'm really am but no one can say they know what it's like to be me.
I don't want anyone thinking this is my suicide note or letter. But this feels like kind of a release, an escape from my feelings and thoughts.
I never leave this room...All I do is sleep and think. My family act like they care when I know they don't they just don't want to have another burden on them.
I can see it in the way they look at me.....There eyes show evidence of how they see me.....In their eyes you can see it all how much they think I'm crazy,or just emotionally and mentally disturbed.
But if they actually-, let alone anyone tried to sit down and ask me how I truly felt.....What I'm feeling now. Then they would understand.
I don't want sympathy....I just want someone to understand.
I'm continuing my stories no matter what...if something happens Someone else will....but I don't want to think of the future anymore.
Let alone the past....I just want to know why do I feel so alone.....I know there are others who feel slightly a bit of how I feel.
But I.....Just don't know anymore about anything....I honestly don't..But I'll try no matter what.
