It's been a few months now...and I haven't tried anything lately to hurt myself. I feel good about it. I'm not about to say my life has been perfect and everything in it been great, because it would be a lie to everyone and myself. People know what I did and tried to do, but only a few knows the real reason why though. I'm not going to say I haven't been a horrid person too when I was in a "Dark" place I like to call it.
I lost myself along with everything, I lost myself value, my religion, my conscious, alot of things that matter to me deeply at one point. But I'm stronger than all that now, I'm learning who I am more and more each day I thrive through...I know I have my problems and issues, but I can openly accept them. Yes I am violent, but I'm also caring; Yes I can be a danger to myself and others, but I also have a big heart and a intelligent mind to know to never stoop to a level I should never be.
I WISH OTHERS HAVE THE SAME CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE AND KNOW.....how its okay to not be okay. And that they're human just like everybody. I know that now. I'm just different......not everybody going to like me or you. But their words mean nothing they're empty. I know now that cutting and self harm isn't their fault. I shouldn't have left what people say get to me, I knew I was scratch that I was okay with who I was and how I seemed. I don't know exactly who I am..yet but I'm getting there. But I know others opinions don't define me.
I'm not going to be happy all the time, I will get sad and depressed sometimes. Maybe even relapse but I'm still in recovery and it's fine. I can't erased what I've done to myself none of us can. But I know I can show walk around with my head high not caring who see my scars, burns, and cuts. Because they are proof on how I survived everything that was thrown at me, that I had a few weak moments. To only make me stronger in time. I just hope whoever reads this and going through something similar...I want you to know if I could get through it anybody can.
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~~~Xxoo Lots of love and care
-Ginger
