I guess this is happening. I'm resorting to Wattpad to document my life. So far I've used journals, online diaries, sketch books, photographs, poetry, and now I'm finally on Wattpad, ready to write a whole novel.
First I'm gonna explain why I even wanted to do this. For one, I need a place to figure shit out. Life is so confusing. It's like one second im making a plan for what classes im gonna take next semester, the next im dealing with relationship drama, and then midway through I stop realize wait im trapped in a system and body and mind and what the fuck is happening.How am I in my body? How did I get here?
No but seriously.
There's no answer. Probably never will be. So I'm the mean time let's just focus on what we can change and affect.
Maybe I should have started with an introduction.
Hi.
Im julia. Im 20. I live in California. In the Bay Area. For some that might mean something. Im living in a pretty good place. I have a nice house. And really nice family. I have an off and on again relationship with this girl Serena. Im sort of a sex addict. But I've been sober. She's made me sober.
I used to go to Portland state university in Oregon. That should also mean something. Still not sure what. I went there for a whole year to study art. And you know what I did instead?
Party and have sex and maybe make art like 10% of the time. I was also healing from a really long term relationship I had. 3 years. Her name is alisa. Still not over her. It's been almost 2 years since we broke up. Ivan said that it would take double the time you dated to get over someone. I think maybe it'll take me 3 years to get over her. Fuck. She was a lot of my firsts. It's embarrassing how I'm still thinking about her. Or maybe not. Idk.
Back to Portland. That was a trip. I don't fucking know what I did there. But it was fun. I was on my own. And I had to figure shit out. I'm currently back home, I came back. Portland didn't work out. Now I'm going to sf state.
But I miss Portland. I'm going there next week on a solo trip. Maybe I'll write about it in here. I know I will. I have a feeling this is the start of something new in my life. A new style of documenting. One that can actually keep up with my train of thoughts.
I have a lot of trains of thoughts. I think that's evident in how many topics I've covered in the past couple paragraphs.
Okay that's it for now. It's too late and I need to sleep.
