I guess things in life are cyclical.
One week your feeling super inspired and you're non stop writing and making art, and then the next you're in a slump, you don't want to go anywhere or create.
It's also my self esteem. Also cyclical.
Or people dependent.
Lately I've been thinking I have BPD just because how much people affect my mind. Also I do this thing called social mimicry which is very similar to what people do when they have BPD.
But anyways.
I'm leaving for Paris the day after tomorrow.
Technically tomorrow is my last day
It's also my moms bday the day I leave. I'm a little upset about it but what can I do.
I need to get her a nice gift.
I'm not sure what though.
Maybe some kind of journal to track her thoughts in. I feel like she would enjoy that.
I'm nervous about Paris.
I'm not sure if I'm ready. All I know is that I want to jump into the unknown. Shits scary.
It's like that first day of middle school after we moved I was so nervous I was shaking the whole day. I felt like I had no one to hold on to. Sometimes you just gotta take a risk and be more open. It won't hurt that bad to be vulnerable.
And it'll be good and bad. Both need to exist to compliment each other. And that's part of the process.
Maybe I'm having this whole epiphany about angels because they are guiding me as I'm going to this new place.
Or maybe it's aesthetics.
Idk.
