Diary of a Gay Teenager

Chapter 3 - Junior Year (Part 1)

*this is the depressing half of my Junior year*

Junior year is when things started taking a turn for the worst. At this point I accepted who I am but I was still in the closet except for my one friend who knew. None of my best friends or family knew and their opinions were the reason why I chose not to tell them. My dad's side of the family is very accepting and open-minded but my mom's side of the family is against gays and I knew they would gossip to each other about me because all they ever do is gossip. Last November my dad somehow was receiving messages from one of my online dating websites so he was seeing that guys were talking to me so he confronted me about it. I told him that I used to question if I was gay but that now I knew I wasn't. I knew this was a complete lie and I probably should have told him the truth right then and there but I was afraid. I know that he would be accepting and supportive of I told him that I'm gay but the big problem is my mom. She is much like her family, close-minded and doesn't believe in being gay. She has told me in the past that she would support me if I was gay but that she doesn't hope for that kind of future for me.. Like wtf?! In what way does that sound supportive? My other big problem was my best friends. My worst fear was that my friends would treat me different if I told them the truth. I just wanted to be able to be the real me in front of everyone without being judged or treated differently. I'm the same me as I was before, just now instead of girls I like guys. It's really simple! So why do people have to make such a big deal about being gay? After the first 2 months of the school year I began to be less social and I became a little depressed. All I ever wanted to do was just lay in bed and cry. I never really found joy in many things anymore and on top of these feelings and thoughts, my dog that I've had since I was a small child passed away. It was a terrible time for me but luckily I was introduced to great guy that would help pull me out of this hole that I dug myself into before it was too late.