THAT FIRST BREAK (Broken Redemption Prequel 1)

Chapter 4

Emilia

Like it was all in my head, the fear I'm on the verge of losing him slips away. It's courtesy of the feel of his arms around me, his body cocooning me from the terrible thoughts that have haunted me since that night. But as with anything that isn't real, it's not long before that feeling of safety is shattered by the truth. Now that he's caught a glimpse of how deeply in love I am with him, I have no idea what happens next. What if things between us never go back to how they were? What if he decides my feelings are too much, and the best recourse is for him to put distance between us?

"I can't lose you," I whisper against his chest.

Since we were kids, he's been a constant fixture in my life. Whenever I was scared, every obstacle I faced, I knew without a doubt he'd be there to help me conquer it. As a little girl, I have memories of Lucas helping me onto the large rock at Willow Creek Park for the first time. It was he who took my shaky hand in his and helped me climb the steps of the big scary school bus that first day. For as long as I can remember, he's been my guardian and protector, but now something essential to who we are has shifted.

I can feel it.

It's intense and confusing, and worst yet, it's causing this thick, unbreachable divide to form between us.

"You're not going to lose me." He breathes into my hair. "You didn't ruin anything, and I'm not mad at you."

"Then why are you avoiding me? The guys have all talked to you, and you and Jen are okay. The only one you're not speaking to is me."

I can't help but bury my face deeper into chest. His warm masculine scent is like a balm that takes the edge off the uncertainty I feel. When his chest expands, he tightens his hold and pulls me closer. It's why I don't miss the tilt of his chin as he shifts his face over my hair and breathes me in.

I wish I could see his eyes. Would they betray his tight control and for once give away what he's thinking? Would they show sadness? Regret? Longing? Or maybe pity for the stupid girl crying in his arms.

"I'm sorry about that. You're right, we should talk." While his tone is steady, I detect a hint of uncertainty. After kissing the top of my head, he pulls back. His hands slide over the sides of my face, and with his thumbs, he wipes away the remaining trail of tears. "What do you say we table this until after I eat? We can talk down at the park."

Nodding, I let him slip away, back to the counter where he grabs his bowl of cereal and returns to eating. This time, however, he doesn't turn away.

"Now, why don't you tell me about your week? What did I miss?" When he looks at me this time, it's like our troubles have melted away. It goes a long way to lifting the weight that has crushed my chest the past week.

For a girl who can't stand having people be mad at her and who avoids conflict like the plague, the change in him is like a gift from the heavens that I refuse to question. Maybe it's a sign that I overreacted. That things between us haven't changed all that much, and that after today things can return to normal. As long as I have my Lucas back, I'm willing to sweep the offending week under the rug and pretend it never happened. Especially if that's what he wants.

"Hey you, head out of the clouds." He shakes the hand that's resting in front of me on the counter. "Come back to me," he beckons in that soothing voice that never fails to make me swoon.

God, I missed this. The wide grin and the warmth behind those sea-green eyes as he pulls me back into the moment. I'm a daydreamer who's perpetually lost in my thoughts, but he never judges. If anything, the way he smiles when he catches me in the act is like he's won a hand at his favorite game of cards. Like he's thrilled to have caught me in a world that only he and I know exists.