I served Christ at the bar again
He came in with his friend Friday night
The same apostle who always comes
Though he hardly ever says a word
Christ has an artificial tan all times of year
And he wears his sunglasses inside
Christ has a 28-year-old daughter
Who is a lawyer, or a doctor,
Or something for him to brag about
She went to school for many years
And like her he tells me I'll do great things
Christ slips me a 20 and says that
He knows I'm only 18, but I should
Buy myself something nice to drink
Christ orders a SOCO old fashioned sweet
Served on an ice ball for his silent friend
And he orders a double Woodford Reserve
with half an ounce of syrup and
A spoonful of luxardo cherry juice
Not muddled with no wash, just stirred
And served with two black cherries
On another ice ball, in a slimmer glass
Christ says that I make it better
Than any other bartender he's had
Christ is a lawyer who goes to expensive bars
And he insists that I will go places
Christ says I can get whatever I want
From the boyfriend he assumes I have
And in life if I simply take it
Christ tips me 50 percent on his bill
And he asks me when I work again
Christ thanks me and praises my service
And he says he'll be back again
Christ waves to me as he leaves
And turns his back to the bar
Christ is the name on his credit card
Maybe it's short for Christopher
But he's the realest Christ I have ever seen
And though he doesn't drink red wine
I'll bet he works miracles you wouldn't believe
