I hated to trust you

2. Abyss Between

*Moiraine's POV*

The One Power shielded my chambers, in which I locked Raena about an hour ago. Leg bouncing I stood in front of Siuan Sanche's door. A warm hand placed itself on my shoulder and I instantly felt our connection. The sound of his heartbeat calmed down my own.

"What do you intend to do?" Lan asked and I straightened my posture and exhaled my anxiety.

"Sort out her dilemma." With those words spoken, I entered Siuan's chambers and left my Warder outside to keep an eye on prying eyes and ears. Loose, dark brown curls were exposed to me and soon the woman turned her attention towards my direction. Her dark skin and warm eyes glared at me with all her thought. "Mother," I bowed and earned a soft chuckle to leave her lips.

"I hate it when you call me that," Siuan exclaimed and smoothed out her beige, floor length dress. "What can I do for you, Moiraine?" She gestured for me to sit down with her and although my nerves told me to not do it, I pushed them away and seated myself besides her. "Tea?" I shook my head as the woman poured herself a cup. The steam rose high and the scent of jasmine reminded me all too well of my redhead.

"We need to talk," I nodded and as her eyes were all mine and her eyebrow lifted, I dared to proceed. "My novice, has followed into her mother's footsteps." I swallowed when painful memories of Laena invaded my brain.

Raena and her mother where alike in a lot of ways. Not only was Raena the spitting image of her mother, but they both shared a dangerous passion.

"What is it you're insinuating, Moiraine?" Her motions were stiff as we both were now very aware of what I was talking about.

"Shadow craft, Siuan. Raena made use of such magic on our mission— it was training for her and nothing we were not prepared for. She just..." I shook my head, not able to get the image of her dark eyes out of my mind.

Her smaller hand reached for mine and made me look up. "Tell me exactly what happened, Moiraine."

My stomach tightened and an unsure sensation hit me. Would I risk the banishment of Raena here? I have made a mistake fifteen years ago, when I went to the Amyrlin Seat instead of seeking out Laena and talking sense into her. I swore her to take care of her daughter, to watch over her and not let a thing break her skin. Today I broke that promise.

"Darkness— it was everywhere to be sensed at the outpost," bending the truth was my specialty. "I don't think there was much choice for her, since Trollocs swarmed her. It was the next best thing she could do. Summon the shadows and ask for help, because I couldn't." I explained the half-truth.

Siuan's forehead carried a frowned, as she squeezed my hand.

"We need to do a checkup. Bring her to me." Her voice was honey like and I begged for Raena to have done the thing I told her not to.

Checkups as an Aes Sedai would never stay hidden. Someone always knew about it and then it were the news at breakfast. Usually none of them were about anything serious. Lack of channeling abilities were most common. Easy solutions were offered for such. Mainly the lack of experience was teh reason. Therefore a few lessons on reconnecting were all it took to help our little novices to channel again. But that darkness within Raena? I was not entirely sure where the checkup would lead us to and where it would leave Raena.

I was fast to exit her chambers. Lan was by my side with an instant and he linked arms with me. The comfort of his touch was well needed.

"What are we up to?" My eyes were positioned on the hallway ahead of us.

"Hope she did what she always did," I exclaimed quietly, keeping a straight face.

The man next to me sighed and nodded. "We're hoping she ran."

The barrier I had set in front of my chambers was still closed and my heart sunk as I feared she was still inside. My palms flatly placed on each other and I ordered the One Power to loosen its shield and let me enter. Within the blink of an eye the see through barrier was gone.

The window hung open widely, nevertheless my relieved manner was vanished at once when I eyed the pried open tile next to the bed. The letters were scattered across the floor. Fallen to my knees I lifted the papered to find the book, yet all I found was Laena's letter to me. She read it, I gathered and my heart sunk. It was embarrassing to say the least. It was as if she saw my deepest secret, because that was exactly what she did. I was exposed to her and not able to explain myself.

"The Builder," I said and had difficulties rising from my spot. A sagacious creature, I might add. Lan ensured I was all steady before he let go of my waist in front of the library. Through the door we walked and a warm smile met the Ogier's face. His big nose and fangs exposed. "Builder," I greeted him.

"What a pleasant surprise, Moiraine Sedai." His voice was raspy and welcoming. "I already handed your novice the papers. You two share your urgency."

I sucked in a breath and brought my palm to my middle, searching for comfort. "What papers?"

"Now, here I believed you would know what I was talking about." The Builder laughed slowly. "Raena was here to inform me about the book of shadow craft. She seeks knowledge about the origin and I informed her about Shadar Logoth. She began her journey." My whole body went cold.

"The Wheel wheels as the Wheel wills," I whispered as horror filled me.

I knew about her abilities, but even that kind of darkness was nothing she could handle. Not when I knew how reckless she was. She was full of rage and it would earn her to enter a darkness not even our mother could pull her out of. The image of Raena's fiery hair laying in a puddle of her own blood and her radiant green eyes dull as her dead gaze stared up at me, earned me to exit the library swiftly. My stomach twisted and I couldn't help but vomit into a dark alley.

"It's going to be okay," Lan's voice intended to sooth me yet there was no response from my body.

"We cannot let her leave these walls." I was certain and stern. My mind was focused again and we headed to the gateway, only to catch a glimpse of Aldieb rushing through the gate. "Raena!" I screamed and ran after her. We were positioned outside in the shadows, when out of the blue Aldieb and Raena on her back came to a hold. "Raena!" My voice dared to crack.

I would give up my shield if it meant she'd not run.

"She trusted you!" The redhead yelled and the darkness swarmed around her.

"Raena, please don't leave— let me explain."

She scoffed, "I read enough to know you betrayed my mother and manipulated me ever since! Don't you remember this place? Oh right... you never showed up!" The ground began to shake and her ivy green orbs gloomed in the darkness of the night. "Do not come to find me." And as I set a step closer to her the ground underneath that foot crumbled and a miles deep canyon ripped through the core of the earth, parting our paths. The message was clear as day. "I will not stop just here, if you dare seek me out."

I did not recognize that woman. She did not even sound like the redhead I taught. The darkness was consuming her. Shadows swarmed around Raena as she smacked her tongue and caused my mare to take off into woods, leaving the created canyon between us.

"Moiraine," Lan's soft voice reached from behind, hoping to pull me away from the abyss ahead. "There is no use in following her now. Not in your— or her state." I gave in and allowed him to drag me away from the cliff, although I would gladly had tested the theory. "Raena will eventually return."

But she would not and we both knew it. All I could do was do what she threatened to not do.

We'd ruin each other, this I was certain of. And I might let her.

—xx—

Let's go, we're entering dangerous territory Moiraine.

Stay safe and kind<3