I hated to trust you

6. Face To Face

Tw: blood

*Moiraine's POV*

Locking eyes with Raena was as though I was punched in the guts by a Trolloc or giant for that matter. There was nothing that could have prepared me for this very moment. No matter how often I dreamed of her —of this, I never imagined how weak my knees would feel in reality.

"Do not call me that!" The redhead growled and hold familiar golden daggers up, ready to fight me. The blades gloomed with the reflection of fire and allowed the picture of Raena as a dragon in flesh and blood to appear. She was not, yet in my mind she would always be my little dragon, no matter her actions or the causes of such. "You have no right to use the name she gave me, when you caused her death!"

I swallowed at her words. My lips parted, but nothing but hot air erupted at first try. I was speechless. I, Moiraine, was speechless. This does not just happen. But here I was, unable to say anything at all whilst being face to face with her.

"You're right," I nodded. "And I will forever pay for it, with the knowledge of my fault in this. I was reminded of the pain every day she was gone these past twenty years, and I will be reminded another twenty years after that, blaming myself for the misery my choice inflicted." Something hushed over her eyes and for the first time I felt threatened by her. Lan's presence was close and he felt my anxiety too. This would not happen. I would not let him harm her. I took a step closer, my hands ready to call the One Power, when her eyes dropped to my motions. "Raena, come home—"

"No," she spit out and darted her weapons at me. "Are you afraid of me, Sedai?" She scoffed an unreadable expression drowning her face. What had happened to her? Was my little dragon under this mask? Behind the walls she had built? I hoped with all my heart the answer would be yes by end of the day.

I would leave nothing untouched. I will try every little trick that had worked in the past and I would not stop finding the one that left her fingertips tingling.

"You're wearing braids now, mh?" I remarked and something shifted in her eyes. This would work after all. I took another step closer, earning her to rearrange her weapons. She could have killed me by now, but she did not. "Lower the daggers and talk to me."

"I believe not." She clenched her jaw, temples tensing.

"Well, then let me talk?"

"No." She was fast to answer that one, as if she could not stand the way I had sounded. Was it my voice?

A soft smile formed on my lips, a tired one nonetheless. "My little dragon—" she lounged herself at me, the daggers placed on my neck, but not slicing it, yet. "Do not Lan!" I screamed, noticing his shift and quick heartbeat. The woman in front of me noticed her mistake of coming so close to me, but it was too late, I hold a silver dagger to her neck. She frowned and glared at me with narrowed eyes. "I can play your game, little dragon." She pressed the daggers to my skin, nicking it to which I followed her movements.

"I am not your anything, Moiraine. And if you intend to kill me, I suggest you do it now or I might be faster."

I chuckled and used my free hand to wrap around one of hers. With pressure I pushed the dagger into my skin and at first she hold her dark and stern gaze, but once blood slid down the blade she resisted and pushed against my force.

"I am sure, this is nothing... my little dragon." I whispered and glared between her features. "All the blood... the lives... for this?" I grabbed the chain from her hands. "Tell me, how do you feel? Does it feel good to know you ended his life? The lives of hundreds of Whitecloaks before?"