Claudia Lockwood-Mikaelson

Chapter 34 - Eden's help

If someone described a person with the same symptoms as me, I'd say they were very ill. But to me, this feels perfectly normal. I can't seem to put the two together in my mind. I don't accept that I am ill. I won't.

As Kol left, before Celeste was caught, he promised Elijah that he and Davina would research a cure for me from Spain. When Elijah first told me I was grateful for their help but now I don't know why they are even trying at all. There's nothing wrong with me.

I can't get my head around Nik's devastating sadness that he can't seem to shake off. I don't understand why he tries to get me to eat so much, surely he knows I don't need any of it. His pleading falls on deaf ears and his reasoning makes no sense.

It's been a week since the ordeal with Celeste and I've not eaten any food whatsoever. The full moon came and went but I didn't turn into a wolf. Elijah says it's because I'm so unwell. Insufferable know it all. He doesn't understand anything. I'm not ill there's nothing wrong with me.

The happiness I felt when I realised the moon wasn't affecting me was unlike anything else. If it truly is because I'm not eating, it's just another reason to refuse Nik's help. He won't turn me into a hybrid, not that I want to be one anymore, I know I'd still have to drink blood. And I don't want anything at all.

The Mikaelsons haven't let me out of their sight, or out of Nik's bed for that matter, in fear that I'll strain my weakening heart. Our mate bond has numbed considerably and we can only feel a fraction of each other's emotions now. It still hurts a lot when I upset him though. He's been staying close the whole time but I'm too anxious to be able to relax and enjoy the time with him properly.

If I wasn't so exhausted I could enjoy this uninterrupted time with him. If I wasn't so terrified every time he speaks, thinking he will ask me to eat something or drink his blood, I could savour these precious moments alone together. But I can't.

"This is Eden Fareday," Elijah introduces me to a pretty young woman around the same age as me.

"Eden, this is my mate," Nik says, clearly having spoken with his brother about getting her help. I'm not surprised. I constantly hear them whispering outside the door about me, although my enhanced hearing has recently not been working so I can't ever tell what they talk about.

"Who are you?" I ask rudely. "If you're one of their new tricks to get me to eat something just leave now and don't bother. Or simply kill me instead and get on with it. Although I doubt they would let you, even if you'd be doing them a favour."

I pause for a millisecond watching for her reaction. She doesn't seem to take in my words at all. "So leave. Now. I don't need your useless help. There's nothing wrong with me," I spell it out for her.

"Claudia," Nik sighs disappointed and my heart clenches feeling his pain. "Eden, she isn't in her right mind."

"And what would that be?" I retort. "When I trusted Celeste? You would rather a mate that was stupid enough to do that? Over me now?" I could go on but I'm breathless already and my head spins.

"You weren't stupid Claudia, we all trusted her," he tells me quietly after a moment of silence. "I would rather a mate that is happy and healthy, not one that is suffering and wanting to die."

He stands up and walks out. He left. He just left me.

My eyes fill with tears and I immediately regret my words. I upset my mate. I upset my wonderful mate. Just as I've been doing since they first found out about this hex on me. I don't know how he can bear seeing me. I'm awful to him. Such a horrible mate. He would be better with anyone else, even the witch bitch Celeste would treat him better if they were bonded. Pain wracks through my body as our bond effects me. It's like a punishment for pushing him away. One I rightly deserve.