Claudia Lockwood-Mikaelson

Chapter 45 - [smut] Mate bond worries

Nik comes to stand beside me as I watch the people walking in the street below our balcony. I turn to him, ready to defend my actions but he speaks first.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I snap in irritation. "I'm perfectly fine can you stop worrying."

"I'll never stop worrying about you Claudia. And I never want to," he replies lovingly making me feel guilty for snapping at him.

Silence falls and we both consider what to say. I don't want to hurt him any more than he already is but I simply can't allow him to break our bond.

"I'll love you even if our bond breaks," Nik takes my hands in his and rubs circles with his thumbs on the back of my hands. Sparks flood up my arms and through my body and I lean into him, closing my eyes.

"And I'll love you even without our mate bond. But I don't want it to be broken. I don't want that for us. I'm happy being sired to you, I like it actually. You're my mate, there's nothing wrong with wanting to please you. Why risk losing our mating bond for that?"

"Because I don't want you to be sired to me," he sighs and I chew on my lip, hurt at his confession. "I want you to put yourself first, not me. Can't you understand that? I don't want you to be hanging on my every word to please me love, look where that got us with Elijah. You nearly died because I was too foolish to consider that your transition may have resulted in a sire bond."

I know he's right. But I refuse to accept it. "Just be careful of your words then," I try to persuade him.

He shakes his head. "No my love, we can't stay sired for eternity. I'm bound to say something to cause another situation like this again. Do you not trust that I will love you if something happens with our bond?" He asks me cautiously.

"I do trust you, I trust you with my life," my hand brushes his cheek and the tension between us grows and grows. Looking at his pleading eyes, I know he wants this and it's taking everything in me to hold back and stop myself from agreeing just to make him happy.

"You'll be my wife someday, with or without the mate bond," Nik pleads and I swallow hard. I never thought about that but he's right. We're mates, of course we will get married. Just like Elijah and Maeve.

"Alright," I concede, the thought of marrying him making my resolve waver. "But if our bond breaks and you don't want to be with me I need you to be honest. Don't hide it."

Tears gather in my eyes but I hold them back. I have to trust our love isn't purely based on the bond. Yes, it brought us together and makes it hard when we are apart but just like the sire bond, our mate bond doesn't influence true feelings. We love each other. I have to hold onto that.

Nik kisses me softly. "I assure you, that won't happen," he promises.

"Just do it Nik, before I change my mind," I close my eyes tightly in anticipation of what's to come. Of what might happen. My heart is beating faster and faster and I feel nauseous. I need him to do this quickly. Now. On my terms.

As his words wash over me I feel no different. He chooses his phrasing ever so carefully and I wait and wait, half expecting to feel our mate bond suddenly ripped away but nothing changes between us.

I slowly open my eyes to see him standing in front of me, his beautiful teary eyes matching my own. I hold a deep breath and wait for him to confirm he has said what is needed.

"It is done," he replies to my unspoken question. "Do you still feel our bond?"

My hand reaches out and I gingerly touch his bicep, sighing loudly in relief at those familiar sparks flying between us. I never appreciated them as much as I do now. I love those sparks. I love our bond. I love him.