Claudia Lockwood-Mikaelson

Chapter 41 - Visiting Dad

"I know love, I know," Nik consoles me with a comforting hand on my back while I cry. My eyes are all red and puffy and they sting as I blink.

We're on our way to Florida to see my dad. It's been a little while since I turned and both Rebekah and Nik are pleased with my progress. I've learnt how to control my emotions, especially anger, so I'm not at risk of losing control when I feed.

If I'm honest I hate drinking from the vein, I thought the worry of losing control like I did with Elena would diminish over time and it has. But my nervousness of hurting someone when I feed hasn't completely subsided. I think it will always be there.

I've generally coped well with turning. It was hard at the start to accept my sharper senses and amplified emotions but Nik has been by my side through it all. He's been a Godsend through thick and thin. Although there is one subject that hasn't been brought up until now.

"I just want to be a mother," I tell him through my tears. "And now I can't ever have my own children. I can't have our children."

He seems lost for words. I think he suspected I was upset about this but not to the degree I truly am. I've hidden these feelings while we've been in Mystic Falls but now we're on our way home to see Dad all I can think about is family. And how I'm unable to have my own.

"I'm sorry Claudia, I'm truly sorry."

There's nothing else he can really say, nothing can take away the hurt, knowing I'm unable to conceive. And there's nothing we can do about it.

"I wouldn't have been able to give them to you anyway love, I'm a vampire," Nik states then winces at his words in anticipation of my response. But I'm not angry at him for that, I could never be.

"I know, I know that Nik," I sniff. "I love you," I remind him so he doesn't think I resent him for any of it. The fact he can't give me children or that I'm now a hybrid and can't have them even if he could.

"I love you too Claudia," he replies and we continue the rest of our journey in silence. Watching the fields blur as we travel past them, I reflect on the life I'm never going to have. One where I am a doctor and grow old and have children. But it's one without my mate.

I'm a hybrid now. My life will never be the same. I have Nik, and I'm so lucky for that. I'd give up everything just to be with him. But that doesn't mean I can't mourn the loss of the life I thought I'd have.

When we reach my childhood home, I fling open the car door and run onto the porch where my dad is waiting for me with open arms.

"Daddy," I cry out as I wrap my arms around him. I haven't seen him since my fight with Nik which was months ago. I've missed him.

He rung me as soon as he received my text messages and Nik's missed calls, in a panic that something had happened to me. It took a while to reassure him that I was fine. He doesn't yet know I'm a hybrid. I hope he can't smell it.

Nik stands awkwardly behind me and Dad ushers us into the kitchen. After some casual conversation and more reassurance from Nik and I that we are doing well together, I decide I can't procrastinate telling him any longer.

"Dad there's something I have to tell you," I look at him earnestly. I'm a little apprehensive of his reaction.

"You're a hybrid," he answers knowingly. He must have known as soon as I hugged him. Dad immediately turns to Nik. "Why did you turn her? She's twenty three, she's far too young. If you wanted my blessing to be with my daughter, that's not the way to go about it."

Nik gulps and we exchange a glance. How do I tell Dad all about the necessity of my transition without him becoming more opposed to the idea that Nik is my mate? He was so concerned about Nik's enemies becoming mine too and that's exactly what happened with Celeste. I don't want to prove him right.