MULATTO (Iyila) (Editing)

chapter forty four

That evening Gabriel sat down beside the window in his room to stare at the open sky filled with different birds, returning from the day's toil while he pondered the incident that had earlier occurred in his father's study. He felt a great sense of freedom and relief for telling his father all that he had for so long sought to say, but a part of him was overwhelmed with guilt.

The guilt of constantly running away and allowing Susan cover all his troubles. Even though he tried not to think of it all, he just couldn't forget the words of Collete in the garden. He didn't deny he'd been a coward for not being there for Susan and Collete when their father's evil had heightened. He had run away to his maternal home in England to lick his wounds and nurse his grief when all hope had seemed bleak.

But in truth, in a corner of his heart he knew he had been very selfish. Susan had been the one to suffer for all his troubles. When his goodness had been called foolishness and his love for books had been labelled weakness by his father, she had been the one to console him on those cold winter nights.

She was the one amidst his grief, when Naomi was murdered. To say that he was not to be held responsible for her death. She had referred to him as the angel Gabriel and had stood by him when his father had almost killed him for not punishing a negro. She had stood in place of him and took the remaining whips which were intended for him.

She had been blamed for his nature. He remembered those nights when his father would hit her and curse her for turning him into the person he was. Yet he had run away and that had increased his father's wrath, finally turnimg him into the beast that he was.

He had been scared of dying and had forgotten about her own suffering. So much time had passed yet he couldn't forget. He knew there was no amount of good deeds that could repay such kindness.

He wondered what would have happened if he had stayed behind and not run away to England or schooled at Oxford. He would never be able to answer such questions.

Perhaps he would have killed his father, or even had stopped him from exhibiting such cruelty, he thought. Nonetheless, he knew for certain that chaos was inevitable. There were two sides of a coin, their difference was vast. Sighing, he laced his finger through his rough hair. He had always considered his father's indifference as a need to satisfy his desire to be wealthy, constantly acknowledged and respected. But with his father's decision to marry Collete over to Longworth, he did not know what else to think.

He'd always known his father to be possessive, power hungry, and domineering. But he never knew greed had been added to the list. He sighed again, he knew Susan wouldn't acknowledge him leaving, but this time he was not leaving for his own need.

He had to leave so the family Susan had always fought to keep together through her sacrifices would not be put in jeopardy. He could kill father if he stayed behind just as he had felt to do when he was just a boy. Regrettably, he would miss them but he had to leave for their own safety. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Startled, he quickly turned and stood up. The knock came again and he asked the caller to come in. The door opened and there she was, finally, Iyila.

"Good evening sir," she courteously greeted him and walked in to set a tray on his table. He, rather, had anticipated it to be his mother, but he was all the same excited to see her. The sight of her alone, in a cryptic way, eased all his stress. "Good evening to you too," he replied with a smile.

Surely he would miss her. He knew he would miss her smile, her stubborness, and her company. He had indeed so much to tell Dr. Samson on his arrival in Illinios.

"I never asked for tea," he said as he strolled over to her side.

"Your mother insisted I serve you this," she smiled back and gave him the hot cup of tea brewing with steam. "Thank you," he whispered and sipped the tea.