Chapter Twenty

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The first two caves we checked were empty, abandoned long enough that no emotion remained to sense beyond what already festered. My stomach back flipped into my chest as we approached the last entrance single file on the ledge between openings.

Please be the one.

Please be the one.

I don't want to climb for other caves.

"Onyx, go check!" I gestured for her to run ahead.

"Scared of what we'll find or that we won't find anything?" Zach asked from behind me.

"Neither," I said honestly. "She has energy to burn and if anyone is there, Onyx will warn us. Win-win."

Zach chuckled, quickly quieting when Onyx barked from within the cave. I paused, holding my breath as I pressed my hand against the mountainside to listen. Thunder rumbled and lightning turned night to day like a flickering lightbulb, but Onyx didn't make another sound.

"I'm going to take that as a positive sign."

"What?"

"Onyx not barking like crazy." I started forward again, quickly eliminating the space between us and the cave. A few paces away, the misting rain began to fall in earnest, first as a fat raindrop on my cheek and then in sheets.

Ignoring the massive wave of emotions that hit me, I sprinted the final steps and dropped my bag to the ground. With both hands, I wiped the rain from my face, starting from my chin and stopping at my hairline. Dropping my hands, I danced in place and tried to shake off the rain I couldn't avoid.

"That was sudden," Zach entered the cave and shook himself off. "Are you sure you aren't responsible?"

"I am sure." Straightening, I pivoted to face the back of the cave. "It's so dark, I can barely see more than shadows."

"Did you bring a flashlight?"

I bent to open my bag. "Yeah, I have—"

Lightning lit the sky, momentarily illuminating the inside of the cave. I looked up, still bent at the waist, and darted my eyes around, sucking in a breath. Slimy walls, dirt floor, the start of vertical bars set in the back wall.

"This is exactly what I saw," I whispered. The cave darkened and I felt around until my hand gripped the handle of my flashlight.

Clicking sounded, getting louder. I stood and fumbled trying to turn the light on. Lightning flashed from farther away, giving enough light to cast shadows. I looked down, grabbed the flashlight, turning it on as I stood facing the back wall.

"You were right," Zach said quietly.

I shone the light down the middle of the cave, exhaling in relief when I saw Onyx coming towards us, her claws clicking against the floor. Halfway, she sat. Her head moved to look at us and the wall, and again.

"Come on," I said but didn't wait for a response.

When I reached Onyx, I didn't pause. She got up and fell into step with me. I continued to look around, avoiding the back wall until I had no choice. Different feelings bubbled inside me—some low, some high, and some in between—and I feared the condition I'd find them in. With each step, the emotions intensified. Beyond the I'm-too-drugged-to-care was anger and defeat and numbness. Overlying it all, I sensed the fear. Although distinct from each other, the two sources I picked up on—and I would have known it was two regardless of seeing it—melded together, intensifying beyond what one person should feel.

I pushed back so it wouldn't root me.

Devland had told Maible fear could be a weapon and, though I'd been afraid before, I never truly understood until now—my accident could have rivaled it if I'd known what would happen, but it occurred too quickly. Fear had lasted seconds—maybe a minute—and then I fought before accepting. Even then, I survived. Losing my memory was an unexpected gift to get to know the people in my life and accept magic.

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