aquaxkana/=PLAYER=/oshinoko

chap. 4 /=DECISION=/ akane pov

I didn't see everything, but I saw it.

They didn't know.

I ran away from that scene not knowing whether to celebrate or cry. I should be happy, shouldn't i? Aqua got the girl he deserved.

He didn't think I liked him.

I didn't think I liked him.

But somehow I did. I liked the boy who had used me, stalked me and made me suffer. Why? Maybe because he saved my life that one time. But I had never been anything to him but a tool.

A tool.

That's all our breakup was to him. Dismissing another tool that he didn't need anymore, no hesitation, because once it can't be used, a tool is useless. It could be disposed of and it wouldn't matter at all to its owner.

I lay on my bed, contemplating my choices. Had it been the right move to break up with him? Should I have begged for him back?

Would I love him now if I had then?

Questions filled my mind, making me reconsider every decision I'd ever made since I met Aqua. He was mysterious. So mysterious, apparently, that I couldn't even figure out if I liked him or not.

Maybe I just felt indebted to him, so much that I had to dedicate my life to him. So much that I couldn't stand seeing him liking another girl?

Nothing made sense except the definite reality that my ceiling was staring back at me, as if forcing me to make some decision. Did I want him or not? Did he want me?

Oh right, he didn't. That was made clear in his confession. He said that he didn't want me at all. HIs heart was occupied by Kana-chan, the girl I didn't know whether to congratulate or hate on.

But the painful feeling in my heart didn't lie.

Seeing the confession had hurt me, because somehow I still liked him. The star in his eye was simply irresistible to me. I had to have him, one way or another, because for some weird reason, otherwise I couldn't get him off my mind.

And the decision was made.