Keep me in distant sight

Chapter 18 : We all won that day Sunshine

Kōtarō really thought the whole thing was behind them after the first Full Day's celebrations. That, after Keiji's convalescence, the future would smile brightly for them and everything would settle down nicely and calmly. After all, when Kenma landed, he had taken barely a whole period before adapting to the dimness (before creating lenses for him), to the foreign language (even though he had a headstart with Tetsu and their bond) and the foreign people (he wasn't that social but at least he didn't recoil from wings touch, not anymore). Kōtarō had foolishly based their plans on their past experience with Kenma and was expecting the same thing from their Soulmate.

When the Black Night was freezing everything and they had to descend into the ground, Oikawa came with them. He had managed to pull them aside before they went to huddle with Keiji, in an attempt to warn them. He had said that humans take time to heal from physical wounds and even longer from psychological ones. He had even said some never do but grow around them until they turn into scars. Lastly, the human had warned him to be kind, patient and understanding to their soulmate, which is exactly how Kōtarō intended to be so they didn't understand at times where Oikawa was leading them.

Now they understand. They should have listened to the other more attentively. Because if they had, they could help their poor Keiji way better than what they were doing right now.

Some days, after going away for some time (more than half an hour seems to be the middle ground), they would come back and find Keiji curled up in some corner of the house, muttering to himself, tapping his fingers all around and generally being physically present with his mind billions of light-years away. The human would flinch from seemingly nothing, as if he was hearing things nillians couldn't - and since nillians' hearing was infinitely better than humans, Kōtarō and their family had deduced the sounds he was hearing came from his mind rather than around. Kōtarō wasn't willing to leave him for too long, so their family would take the relay and have Keiji sit with them as they all learned from each other. But sometimes, their eyes would fall to his hands and they would see scratches on the fabric, words in nillian and nonsensical shapes. On the worst days, Keiji would pull too hard on his skin and his fingers would bleed - the worst being that he actually didn't notice what he was doing, thus he would apologize profusely before withdrawing into himself. By staying beside Kōtarō, Keiji would look better, more focused and calmer. However, even with his Soulmate's grounding presence, sometimes he was swallowed up by something Kōtarō couldn't name, but hated all the same. It didn't help that Keiji seemed to suffer right before it rains or change weather, like his mended bones were reacting to the climate - which, for all they limited knowledge about the human body, could be true.

When Keiji woke up screaming the first time, Kōtarō was faced with the truth: there was a lot that they didn't know. They were underprepared.

It didn't mean they weren't ready to give their all. Even when Keiji's thrashing around ripped feathers out of their wings or they had to nurse him back to consciousness for hours - because Keiji would wake up as soon as Kōtarō said his name but wouldn't be responsive until way later. The nillian had to coax him slowly, with gentle touches and even gentler words. Then, Keiji would apologize, again, always, like he had any control on what was happening. Kōtarō shushed him every time, wiped off his tears and calmed his racing heart to the best of their abilities. They would later nap in the garden together, a moment of peace after the nightmares. Their family helped as much as they could, although they didn't really quite know what to do to help, seeing as nillians didn't suffer from the same things as humans. Only Kenma didn't seem fazed by the whole thing, which was expected and he was actually quite good at calming Keiji down but just being with him and quietly speaking of mundane things.

After "coma", they had to learn another set of new words : Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. And it is something they are all helpless against yet unwilling to lose to.