Backwards Into Hell

Part Two: The LFG

Jake's Diary

Wednesday 27th October

I found Lily outside, sitting on the steps leading to The Lodge's front door while Caleb ran along the length of the porch, giggling to himself and keeping out of the rain. He was playing a game that involved pretend handguns and lots of screaming. I walked in front of her, but Lily was so lost in her thoughts she didn't spot me until I was inches away,

'You okay?'

She startled. Something was wrong.

Lily had been resting with her head in her hands, but now she twitched up with a long frown.

I moved on. 'Darren's tied up and Anais doesn't seem too dangerous,' I said, and Lily just nodded, gazing absently along the drive. Her eyes were puffy and red. 'What is it?'

'Nothing.' She shook her head.

'You can tell me.' I sat closer, so we almost knocked knees.

'I can't.' Lily smiled painfully.

She wouldn't speak, so I did what I could to stave back the silence, going through the story of that morning, recounting Darren's escape and David's daring capture, leaving out that I was too unfit to catch him myself.

Then, searching for more to say, the old oak in front of us reminded me of Abe. Maybe another opinion would help.

'Can I ask you a question?'

Lily took a moment to turn her eyes to me. 'Sure.'

'It's about Abe.' It was hard to know how to break the news, but with Lily it seemed best to rip off the band-aid. 'He's got a son with another woman.'

Lily blinked, and for a second, the sadness in her abated. 'What?'

'He's here on the Island—that's why Abe came.'

'Does Lottie know?'

I shook my head.

'You should tell her.'

'Abe told me to keep it quiet.'

'Doesn't matter.' Lily rested her elbows over her knees so they almost touched mine. 'Secrets like that... People should know.'

'Yeah.' My head was swimming, coming up with a new plan—evil by even my standards. 'I'll tell her.' That won a smile from Lily.

After that, a pause rested between us like a bird settling in its nest as we listened to Caleb run along the porch and Lily's grief returned.

Caleb's head was hard to read: it was full of unfinished thoughts and daydreams, and most of the time he thought of his Mum, a soft, dark-haired woman with burnt-out eyes. Lily's mind, meanwhile, was sad. The reason for that was buried too deep to distinguish and buzzed around my head like a mosquito.

As I listened, the petit house opposite The Lodge—I say opposite, although it was really quite far away—was quiet too. Whoever lived there had gone, leaving behind the peeling walls and dust-covered windows.

Then, as my mind drifted into that sort of relaxed focus—where you're not sure you're concentrating at all—it struck me.

This time it was an image.

I barely heard the crack of my skull as it hit the steps.

                                                                                            ***

A family home in a red world. Dark as if a filter had been slid over the lens. That is where I was.

It was a small room decorated with smiling family photos, long beige curtains, and a similarly beige carpet to which my feet were fastened. An old, black dog slept on the sofa while the TV blared and next to it was Lily. She was a little younger perhaps, but I'd recognise those eyes anywhere.