Shadow

😰Realisation😢

'New?'

'......'

'New? Can you hear me?...'

'.....'

'New?'

Yes, I can hear you. But the thing is I am too weak to reply.

I opened my eyes very slowly. I was lying on the bed and the lights were on. It was not bright enough to see the whole room but this is my bedroom. I am home.

'New?'

Earth was sitting beside me with a haggard expression. No one else was there.

'What time is it?' I was feeling groggy.

'It's midnight.'

'Mn?' I tried to pull myself up from the sleeping position to a sitting position.

Last thing I remember that I was in a car with Tay and Leo. It was afternoon.....5pm at most....

Was I unconscious for that long!

'How are you feeling? Pain anywhere?' He was checking my vitals after assisting me to sit.

'No..thirsty.'

'Here, have some water. Slowly....' He gave me a sipper with a long strong. I didn't let him hold it for me. With shaky hands I grabbed it tightly and sipped slowly.

'Troy?' My voice was hoarse.

'Sleeping.'

'Hm.'

'Vitals are stable now. You can have some food after half an hour.'

'Not hungry.'

'It's not possible. You're hungry just not feeling it right now. Give it some time.'

'I want to go to the bathroom.'

'Okay. Lemme help.'

'No need.'

'Don't be stubborn New.'

'I am fine. You can go now.'

'I am not going anywhere. If you don't wanna share the bed with me that's fine, I will sleep on the couch.'

I was too weak to argue so without wasting more energy I've slowly gotten up and went to the toilet. Earth followed me from a distance but I ignored him.

After finishing my business I went to wash my hands on the sink but when looked into the mirror I was stunned. My face was hollow, eyes were sunken, lips were chapped... In these few hours time I looked like a zombie!

I came out in a daze and sat on the sofa. My legs were very weak.

'You'll feel more weak if you don't eat something. No one can manage to stay strong without food for three days.'

Three days! What!

'What do you mean by three days!' I was shocked.

'Yes. This time the delay in taking the med made your condition far worse than the other two times. See the mark on your hand? You were on drip for two days.'

'Saline drip!'

'Yeah.'

I was too stunned to speak.

'New.... Please take better care of yourself. Don't run around without precautions. You are going to resign soon so don't need to push yourself this much. If you need to do meetings then do it through vc. If anything else, tell Leo to run the errands. Why are you doing everything by yourself?'

'I like to do my own works.'

'That's not the point here. Do you know I much scared I was to see you that way. It was like a nightmare.'

I didn't say anything. I know he did so many wrong things to me but somewhere in the back of my mind I also know his love for me is not fake. In these two years......I loved him too. I had wholeheartedly believed that he was my husband. Hell, I was proud of him. He was caring, loving, I had felt like I was living a blissful life.

But that life wasn't mine. I was living as someone else's shadow. My nature which all considered to be polite and timid and well behaved.......... I am not all that.

The real New Thitipoom has a very strong constitution. In school, college or university I lived my life freely and happily. I liked to play every kind of sports, liked to go out with friends, I was also good at studies. My scores were always good so my parents were very proud of me. I was an all rounder.

But after losing my memory I became someone else. I moulded myself as I heard about my past life and acted accordingly. I started to follow common norms, I diligently worked and dottingly loved my family. Even after regaining my memories I couldn't get out from my fake personality which were bestowed on me for two years without my knowledge.

But three days ago after seeing Tay's big fat tears I actually woke up from my illusion.

When I first met Tay he was living in his own shell. I used to poke him all the time. Inch by inch I successfully dragged him out from his cocoon. It took me years but the result was satisfactory. He is a charming but introverted boy. I used to see him as my responsibility whenever we go out with others. I especially looked out for him all the time so no one can bully him.

He was always a serious kind. Don't like to smile much but his smile was so bright that no darkness can touch him. He was also very possessive and jealous kind. He didn't like my friends circle, my seniors, no one. It has always been only me as his companion.

He was my precious gem. I liked him very much so when he drunkenly confessed I was ready to accept his love. I felt like that gem is going to be mine forever.

But my accident made everything upside down. I lost my memory, my family and Tay. And Tay lost me.....as per his diary.......his Moon. Yes in his diary he had described me as his  moon. Very poetic I must say! Ha ha!

But now that introverted boy came all the way here to find me. He saw me day after day with someone else, addressing him as my husband, loving him, caring for him, even saw my son. Still he didn't bother me, didn't do something that'll hurt me.

He tried to suppress his love all this time just for my sake. I can't even fathom his grief.

And still I tried to outcast him. Tried to leave him without saying goodbye.

I am not at all a bully but I bullied him. So much so that he cried his heart out. Many times.

My crybaby......

When I first saw him in that uni toilet, drenched in water, shivering in cold, eyes swollen........ I was very angry with those boys who made him cry.

Now I am angry with myself. Tay suffered a lot because of me. Now I am going to put an end to that. I am going to give him my remaining days....if he wants.