The Incident
The night started with me wanting to go to a party that the seniors are having, I was actually invited, at times I am not as in with the popular crowd. High school is full of cliques. The night before I had asked my mother if I can go to the party, she was happy I was going anywhere, since she thinks I hang out with Marie and Paul way too much. I was asking her for help with an outfit and telling her the party is for the seniors graduating, I was given an invitation by Clint. He was a senior at the time and wanted everyone to go, the party was in his massive house.
Marie was already going since Paul is a senior. As always, I had to be the third wheel, I was not going to show up alone. For some reason the students in school thought I was a loser. I can't be disbarred over being the debate team nerd as Amanda is on the team as well. Being a nerd should be cool by now but apparently Center High has not gotten the memo. I decided to wear some nice black skinny jeans with a nice black blouse and a red cardigan for some color. My stepmother Paula had sent me some new clothes. I have to thank her for all the new clothes. I wore some black suede sneakers to go along. I love wearing black on black, it makes me look better or so I think in my mind. I felt pretty, I wanted to dress nice for this because Clint had invited me, I know the invitation was open to everyone. I even added some light make up, I put on some red lipstick with a dash of foundation. Simple and yet elegant. I never wear makeup, but I watched some YouTube videos and ask my mom for some advice. Before being picked up by Marie I decided to straighten my hair and add some waves to look different, I was going for a different person tonight, if I would have known what was ahead, I probably would have just stuck to my regular stuff and honestly just stayed home.
I was quite anxious as I was waiting for Marie to pick me up, this felt like a mistake now looking back at the night because I would have been able to leave when I wanted if I had gotten myself to the party in the first place. Once Marie and Paul arrive, we start talking and she goes on and on about how impressed by my outfit she was, since I never dress up and I had my hair down. Something I never do, it is always in a high bun or ponytail, ready for scrunchy action. I was determined to end junior year with a bang. I wanted to feel as free as all teenagers do, when they are about to approach the last year of High School. The car ride was smooth, and Marie had taken a bottle of wine from her mother's liquor cabinet, she put some of the white wine in water bottles for us. I started sipping, now drinking this delicious wine does not justify the rest of the night, disclaimer as drinking always makes a girl's story seem less credible. Paul did not drink during the car ride, he's not into the whole party scene, mainly because he was kicked off the football team freshman year for being too skinny. I feel like he always had a grudge on the guys hosting the party, and to make himself feel better he became super athletic and joined the baseball team, he did so well for himself that he got a scholarship. Plus, he proved that jocks can be smart and ambitious as well, he joined the school newspaper and wows everyone with his pieces on sports. I did join his editorial team as a writer my sophomore year, since he has left for college, I am super nervous to be without him on staff. Story for another time, but I always let myself get distracted, could be why I was naïve enough to believe the seniors actually liked me and cared enough to not wish harm on me.
Once I arrived at the party I had a bad feeling, everyone was being overly nice to me, people that never say hi were just saying hi. Amanda was amongst them; I knew she had something up her sleeve. I was given a drink by Clint, my third mistake of the night, actually going to the party itself was a mistake within itself. Clint is a handsome jock; I did not like him or anything. I was genuinely surprised by his invitation. The drink was really good, tasted like cotton candy mixed with sour lemonheads. As a disclaimer do not take any drinks from anyone at a party, unless you have seen them make it with your own two eyes. I was feeling fine, Clint was paying close attention, Marie was nowhere to be found, I think she and Paul were dancing. In that moment it was just Clint and I, he was standing so close to me that I could smell stale beer off his breath. He offers me another drink and I said no but he told me just to have another and not be a debbie downer. I wanted to feel cool, so I accepted and chugged the rest of the colorful red drink I had left. It was actually really tasty. As Clint walks off to grab another drink, I notice Derek and Amanda walking towards me. Amanda gets cornered by someone, if only I could remember who, the night started getting fuzzy at this point. Derek continues walking toward me, he basically comes towards my whole body and whispers in my ear to be careful with Clint. Before I could respond he walks off, now thinking back to that night I was not understanding in that moment that my thoughts were starting to jumble. After Amanda walks toward me and tells me Clint will never go for me. Stop trying so hard. I walked away and bumped into Clint, he is holding two red solo cups, he asks if I was okay, he told me he will take me somewhere quiet. Clint hands me the drink and I take a long swig and from that moment on, my body felt so different. I could feel the music in my bones, as if I was inside of the stereo itself. My skin felt like it was coming alive, it was an odd, scary feeling. I was getting so hot, I could not breathe, I took another large sip and needed some air. I notice Clint is taking me upstairs, he guides me upstairs. I was already on my second drink, and I knew something was wrong. I let go of him and tell him I want to go outside, but his grip gets tighter, I get nervous and confused and babble about needing to find Marie. I still kept wondering where Marie was. This whole time, since I felt like she would have been able to help me in this moment. Clint pulls me into a dark room.
I agreed because my mind was fuzzy, and I needed to sit down. Once I sat down on what felt like a bed, I got so dizzy. I tried calling Marie on my phone, but my phone fell or was snatched off my hand. I knew I was in trouble, I felt like I needed to get out of that dark room. I try getting up, but Clint pushes me back down and tells me to relax. And to just sip on my drink. I had forgotten I was holding it; I did feel like I had enough, but I was so hot I took another sip. This time a small one but I could already feel my mind shutting down and I was getting sleepy.
This drink from what I can remember tasted like Jolly ranchers not like the cotton candy one. I tried reaching for my phone once more, Clint once again said no, and tells me to chill, in that moment Bud walks in and I feel a hand on my leg. My mind blanks and I wake up the next day naked and confused in the middle of the lawn outside of Clint's house. I panicked and felt so confused and hurt. My whole body was hurting, and I close my eyes and focused. I opened them and I see my clothes 10 feet away. I felt wrong, especially between my legs. As I was putting on my clothes, I notice the cuts and bruises all over my body, especially my legs and arms. I start to search for my phone, I could not find it. I wanted to run inside Clint's house and demand to know what happened, I was too scared it would happen again. Not that I knew what had happened. I ended up running home. It was not too far but my legs gave out a couple of times.
I run inside and yelled for my mother. She ran down the stairs so fast. She looked scared and worried. I can tell she had been crying. My mom demands to know where I have been and if I am okay. She told me she did not hear from me, and Marie had called for me. I start hysterically crying and tell her what I remembered, and she took me straight to the hospital. This is the part when the probing began, and my life changed. I realized I was naive and stupid. My mom called the police once, the hospital did a rape kit and came out positive. I can tell she was trying to remain strong, but she was breaking down. As I was in the hospital the authorities came and started asking a million questions. According to them the story had several inconsistencies, but I only knew my version and kept to it. I told them who did it, and the people I remembered. It all felt like a blur. I take a deep breath and realize how relieved I felt. Marie hugs me and was crying. I stop and tell her how terrible I feel because I do not even remember the night to its entirety only when the video came out. I was badly hurt but my life was only beginning.
