Nevertheless (그럼에도 불구하고요)

체이스, 러브, 하드 (Chase, Love, Hard)

Chapter 7: 체이스, 러브, 하드

My phone plays 'Chase Love Hard' by BOL4. I sigh as I replay Felix's words over in my head. I see us in the future. I just hope you do too. I groan, grabbing a pillow and throwing it onto my face. I scream into it before removing it and staring up at the ceiling. I miss you. I grab my phone and scroll through my contacts until I reach Seungmin's number. I hoover my thumb over it before I drop my phone to my side. What am I going to do? I know Seungmin is harboring some type of feelings for me. Why else would he kiss me that night. Then there's Changbin. I still miss him, nearly a month later and I still want to be with him. What am I? Stupid? Now, there's Felix. I can tell Felix cares for me. Is there really a future for us? Why can't I just make up my mind? It's clear that Changbin is completely done with me. I should hate him but being with someone for three years. It does something to you. I groan, kicking my feet on my mattress. I hate feelings. Why do we even have them? 

My phone buzzes and I stare at the caller ID. It's Nabi. I push the green button and put the phone close to my right ear. "Hello?" I ask. 

"Can you please tell your friend to stop coming to the bookstore to ask about you? It's annoying." My eyebrows furrow in confusion. 

"My friend?" I ask. 

"Yeah, I think his name is Chan. He's been here every day for a week now." Her voice gets low. "We aren't friends anymore so I have nothing to tell him." I frown. 

"Nabi, I've been meaning to apologize to you." 

"Well, it still doesn't make it right what you said to me." The phone goes out and then silence. I sigh, dropping my phone to the mattress. I guess I deserve that. I shouldn't be surprised, although it did hurt. I get up from my mattress and head to the door. I exit my room and walk out into the living room. It's lively as Mom and Dad are in the kitchen cooking dinner. I sniff the air. 

"짜장면?"(jjajangmyeon: noodles in black bean sauce) I ask. Dad nods, turning to look at me. 

"엄마도 신선한 김치를 만들고 계십니다." (Mom is making fresh kimchi too.) He says. I smile as Mom sits at the table, making kimchi. I walk over to each of them and kiss their cheek. Mom looks at me. 

"Well, what was that for?" She asks. I smile, shrugging my shoulders. 

"I just love you guys." I say, heading to the couch to take a seat. "You guys will never guess wo I ran into today." 

"Who?" Dad asks. 

"Do you guys remember Yang Jeong-in?" Mom smiles, clapping her gloved hands together. Kimchi can get messy and the smell can stick to your skin for days. 

"I do! He was always so nice to you. Are you guys going to hang out soon?" I shake my head. 

"Probably not. He's busy with work and school, I'm sure." I say, crossing my legs like a pretzel on the couch.

"Is that true? You don't want to reunite?" Dad asked. I laugh. 

"You guys are acting like we were best friends or something." I say. 

"You used to talk about how he was popular but he didn't have many friends because of how weird he was." I roll my eyes. 

"I only said it because it was true." I wave my hand in the air. "Anyway, when will dinner be ready?" 

"In a bit." I glance at the TV. Of course, they always have the news on. 

"It's already eight." I whine. 

"Come help if you're that hungry." I get off the couch. 

"Chaeyeong, reporting for duty!" My parents laugh.