Sherlock's P.OV.
Don't let him find out. He most likely does not love you back. He doesn't love you back.
"Sherlock?" John called my name.
"John, mind palace."
"Right. I just wanted to tell you you're mumbling..." He sounded hurt.
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, John."
"It's ok Sherlock. I'll just go to my room."
Great job Sherlock. You've bloody done it now. You've hurt his feeling and now he's leaving you alone. Great job you arsehole. I need to take a walk.
~~~~~
What's going on Sherlock? John. He's so perfect. Why do you keep hurting him? You love him, don't hurt him. You're an arse. You're unstable. You're insan-
"STOP!" Now I'm shouting to myself.
Just focus on walking. Left, right, left, right. Count to ten. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. Take a deep breath. What else is supposed to help you calm down? Close your eyes. If only I had my damn violin. Just sit down.
John John John.
I love him.
He's beautiful.
He's caring.
He's my blonde-haired sassy hedgehog queen.
He's my whole world. And he doesn't even know. And I can't stop hurting him. Here I am in the middle of a park on a bench crying. Crying because I hurt the man I love the most. Sherlock you need to change. Stop crying. You need to be there for John. This isn't going to happen again. It's time to go home. It's time to change for the better.
