Not All Perfect

Millie

My head hurts. I can barely open my eyes.My body is numb and I just wish to die at this very moment.

"Mill wake up!!"
"Mill it's 7:30 we will be late for school."
I wasn't in my complete conscious mind but I could recognise the voice.It was Tyler my cousin. We went to a party yesterday night and then I slept over his house which is now basically my house.
" I don't want to go. I don't feel good." The words could barely leave my mouth

"Well too bad because you don't have a choice. If mom finds out that we went to a party yesterday night. I am grounded for a week."Tyler stated.

"Okay fine. Could you just get my clothes out from the drawer by the time I fresh up." I was way too tired to do anything I just needed to go in the bathroom and slash some water on my face and also I have spent way too many nights in Tyler's house so I have a drawer in his room which is filled with my clothes.I guess that's what you have to deal with when you get close to your cousins

"Your clothes are already in the bathroom just go and get fresh while I distract my mom downstairs because if she found out you slept over yesterday night she will get all suspicious."

I nodded my head the whole time Tyler was speaking not that I heard the whole thing but I knew what he was saying.

I don't have a sibling but me and Tyler are pretty close. Tyler is a very good brother. I don't think I could survive in this world without him. Although I am three months older than him but he takes care on me as my older brother.

I took a quick bath and snuck out of the house.I didn't had to jump through the window or anything. Tyler was with my aunt in the dining room while I snuck out. I waited for Tyler by his car the gate keeper saw me but he wouldn't say a word to my aunt.He kind of have a soft spot for me and Tyler.

"You look like hell Mill ,you should not be drinking that much and definitely not on a school day."

"Yes grandpa will keep that in mind."
We were on our way to school

"I am not kidding Mill it's really not good."
I didn't respond to that. I know that I have been partying a lot recently, consuming way too much alcohol and that it's not good for me but I needed it. After the turn my life took I needed to distract myself.

There was long silence on the rest of our way to school.

"Did something happened with your dad?" Tyler asked in a soft and concerning voice.
I didn't say anything but my eyes said it all.My relationship with my dad was not good.Infact me and my dad didn't had any relation just that we were related by blood.My eyes were filled with tears but I and Tyler both knew that I won't let them come out.

"Mill you need to stop fighting with him. Just try to give him some space."

I loved Tyler but I hated him when he takes my father's side. He does this everytime.

"Trust me there is enough space in his huge disgusting white mansion."
My tone became angrier

"God Mill you need to understand his pain he is all lonely and hurt, the last thing he wants right now is an alcoholic daughter."

"Well Ty, I am also lonely and hurt. I am also going through the same pain from which he is suffering now. I lost mom too and I miss her too. Her death have affected me too but it's not that we can bring her back from dead and if there was any chance to do that you know that I would done anything to have her back in my life. It's not only him who loved her. I loved her too. He behaves like I don't even exist but I do and it hurts to know that your dad doesn't care about you anymore.It hurts so bad Ty. It hurts." I couldn't hold by tears back now. It was too much. My life became horrible after my mom left us. She was the only source of light in my dad's and my life and now that she is gone it's only dark. I tried to be like my mom just in order to keep my dad happy but he doesn't care if I exist he just cares about his patients and treat them and mourn my mom. These are the only two things he care about.

"Mill he cares about you. He just misses Julie. He needs time to get over her"

"Aren't three years enough to get over someone,Ty?" Yes it have been three years since my mom died but it feels like yesterday.
" And I will understand if my dad never get over her, they were madly in love with each other but does it means that he will ignore my whole existence? Sometimes I just get angry at mom for leaving us, without her my whole life is a mess"

My whole face was wet with tears.I cried like hell. The world feels like hell without her. Tyler pulled over the car and hugged me tightly. He wanted to cry too but he didn't because he had to take care of me. He is been taking care of me since my mom left us. He was pretty close with my mom too. Things at his house was also not good for a year after my mother's death but they moved on as they should, we can't just stop living our lives.

"Mill I think we should go home.You don't look so good."Tyler whispered while I was still in his arms.

"No you have your math test today you can't miss that." Tyler's grades were good but still he shouldn't miss a test for no reason especially not because of me.

"It's okay, it's just one test if you need me then I will be by your side."
Tyler's eyes showed concerned for me.

"No I am fine. And also your grades should be good for college. Yale doesn't take any random jock."
I was just being silly Tyler was good at both studies and sports.

"Well I don't think my grades are that bad Mills well anyways math test is during the third period so I will drop you home and then comeback to school and also the above statement is non-arguable."

"Fine."

I slept whole time on my way to home.Though my home was just 20 mins away from home and with Tyler driving the car it barely took 15 mins but that nap felt so good.

I was going upstairs to my room while I saw my dad in the living room with a glass of wine and staring at my mom's album.I wanted to fight him again but it was pointless, seeing him like this kills me and maybe I do need to give him some space.