Not All Perfect

Millie

It's Monday morning. I am the kind of girl who hates Monday's. I hate it when the weekend gets over.

The sleepover was fun but Sunday was boring. Shaily was spending the day with her mother, Ty was busy sleeping the whole day and I don't know about Archie. So I spent the whole day alone in the house as I barely talk with my Dad but atleast I made him express his emotions through it was in the form of anger but atleast it was something.

Monday means going to school and I don't want to. Not because I hate Monday's but because what happened on Friday night. I can't seem to forget it even though I am trying damn hard but the images and memories from the night keep flashing back.

I used to get panic attacks after my mom's death. Violet treated me and prescribed me on few medications but they stopped a year after mom's death and I haven't taken the pills since then but I always had them with me cause just in case, and now the attacks are back. I had one yesterday and I think I am having one now.

Breathe Millie. Breathe. Count till ten.

1
.

2
.

3
.

4
.

5
Oh my god I can't. Breathe. Millie comeon. Wiggle your fingers.
6
.
.

7
.
Come on you can do this. Walk.

I started walking in my room.

Fast-Faster.

8
.
Wiggle your fingers. Deep breaths.

9
.
.
10

More deep breaths.

Inhale

Exhale.

Finally I could catch my breath and calm myself down.

Skipping school is the only option left. I can't face Reggie. What if he again tries to-. No no no no. Fuck. I don't think I have ever been this scared of someone.

I sat down on the floor in a corner of my room in a hurled up position. I just wish that all of this was just a nightmare and nothing else, I don't want to feel this way. It sucks.

"Millie?" Tyler entered my room without even knocking on the door. I quickly stood up from my position as soon as I heard his voice but it was too late. He had already seen me that way.

He said nothing but rushed towards me and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back and tears start falling off my eyes. Why God? Why me?

He rubbed my back and I realised how long we have been in this position. I pushed myself away from him and wiped off my tears.

"I don't want to go to school." I looked at my feet.

I don't want to look in Tyler's eyes right now because I am sure it will be filled with pity for me.

"You should leave...you might be getting late." I asked Tyler to leave.

"Mills I am not leaving without you." Tyler said. I am still not looking towards him.

"If you want to skip. It's okay. I will stay with you. I don't have any test today." Tyler declared.

"Tyler you will be left behind. It will create backlog." I said.

"And the same goes for you too." Tyler pointed. He was right. But I have a genuine reason he doesn't.

"If you don't want to face the world today it's fine but know the more you delay the more it will have the power over you." Tyler grabbed my chin with his gentle hands and made my eyes look into his.