Dark Paradise [Z. Malik // fanfic]

27. The only way

Reina's POV

We've made it to our motel in Montepellier right after the dawn. Zayn was extremely silent all the way here and when we got to our room he collapsed on the matress fully clothed.

"Do you want me to see if they have a pharmachy box in here? These need to get cleaned." I said refering to his cuts.

"Nah. I'm fine." He replied with his eyes closed.

I sat at the edge of the bed aswell, my back facing him.

"It's really hard for me too, Zayn. I mean, i got myself into a really fucked up situation."

I recieved no answer by him so i continued.

"But if you asked me if i was going to do it again..." I paused a little, "...I would. Because, even under these circumstances, i met you."

I waited for him to say something but none of us dared to form a single word.

I turned my head to the side and saw Zayn covering his eyes with his hands. His forehead was wrinkled and his mouth escaped soft sobs.

"Zayn?" I said slowly.

"I'm a mess, Reina. I'm a fucking mess. And she was right. I killed her. I did. And i'm really scared i'm going to do the same to you."

By now i was in tears too.

"Zayn..."

"No, stop. I want to talk to you about it. I know i'm a prick. I know i'm a plain rich guy whose money never brought him happiness. That's what happened with her too. I thought she was going to stay with me and make her happy just by giving her fancy gifts, but Reina, damn Reina, i loved her with all my heart and i was so selfish to admit it. Even to myself. And now, after 2 years i found you and oh my God, i can't believe i'm saying this but i love you. I love you so much. I could die for you. I could kill for you. I could do anything for you. But, i'm so scared of losing you."

My throat was burning and the tears was running hard down my face. I wanting to hold him in my arms, lace my fingers to his long hair and tell him everything's going to be fine but i was scared also.

"I wish i could tell you everything is going to be okay, but i don't know if this is going to end good. All i know is that i love you too. With all my heart and i could do anything for you. Just keep that in your mind."

Zayn uncovered his bloodshot eyes and sat up, now fully facing me.

"Don't go..." He whispered and held me tight.

"I won't..." I whispered back and brought him closer to me.

I dragged my body, alongside with Zayn's, and placed my back to the pile of the pillows as i held him in my lap. Zayn snaked his hands around my waist, his head resting to my chest.

I laced my fingers to his long, raven black hair until i wasn't able to hear his soft sobs instead his heavy breathing. He was finally sleeping.

I covered us with a blanket and held him tighter. I looked down at his sleeping figure and couldn't help myself but smile. I caressed his unshaved cheek and softly sang...

"Come just as you are to me

Don't need apologies

Know that you are worthy

I'll take your bad days with your good

Walk through the storm I would

I do it all because I love you, I love you