Coming Back to You ✔

54. September

Sophia lay with her eyes open, staring into the darkness, as her heart pounded. The blackness of the room pressed in on her, every noise causing her eyes to jerk in its direction.

She hadn't been in this kind of darkness or silence since the subway tunnels. In the hospital, nurses were always in and out, light coming in from the hallway or various screens and monitors. But the Four Seasons's blackout curtains were doing their job too well, the soundproofing in their walls far too effective and keeping the space dead quiet.

Sophia gripped her sheets, twisting them around, trying to keep herself from falling apart. She could do this. She could bring her heart rate down, even out her breathing. She had to do this.

Gasping for air, Sophia jerked up from the bed and smacked the light switch next to the bed, flooding the room with light.

She couldn't do this.

She couldn't look at Dean, either. He had clearly still been awake, and he slowly sat up, his ever-neutrally sympathetic gaze on her as she tried to control herself.

Sophia swung her legs over the edge of the bed, leaning over on her knees as she slowly came away from the edge of panic. "It was so dark down there," she said, the words refusing to stay contained within her anymore.

Slowly, Dean got up and came and sat next to her. He didn't touch her, didn't say anything, but that was his invitation for her to continue.

"I couldn't see anything; I thought every little noise was him coming back to kill me." Sophia took in a sobbing gasp. "I felt so alone. I thought I was going to die."

Dean twitched beside her, and then he folded her into his arms for the first time since they reunited, his chin resting on her head as she pressed her face into his chest. He probably wouldn't have done it in any other circumstance, he had been so careful with how he interacted with her. But whether he liked it or not, he knew her, just as she still knew him. And she needed him right now, needed that comfort.

"How am I supposed to do this, Dean?" Sophia asked, her voice watery and close to breaking. "I can't even sleep."

"You're going to be okay," Dean calmed her, smoothing out her hair with his hand. "It's going to take time, but you're going to be okay."

She didn't have to ask for him to shift the two of them around so Sophia could lie down against him. Instead of the sheets, she curled her fingers into his shirt, her head lying against his chest so she could feel his warmth and listen to his heartbeat drumming steadily.

"I'm going to turn off the light, Sophia," Dean whispered to her. "You're okay. You're not alone. Not anymore."

He plunged them into darkness, and Sophia held onto his words like a lifeline. She wasn't alone. She didn't know where they stood, exactly, but Dean was here with her. She was in his arms, listening to the steady beat of his heart, feeling the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He blocked out all the horror and only brought in feelings of comfort.

The darkness no longer felt oppressive. Instead, it reminded her of Dean's eyes.

It wasn't the best sleep Sophia had ever had, but Dean staying with her allowed her to at least get some sleep. And after everything, that was the best start she could hope for.

***

Sophia's eyes opened to darkness, and in a moment, the panic began to grip her heart again. She tried to move, but even though nothing appeared to be holding her down, she couldn't. Her arms and legs refused to respond, and even her head seemed to be stuck in place. She cast her eyes wildly around, trying to find any sign of where she was, but nothing. There was only darkness.