Coming Back to You ✔

40. May - This Year

The paranoia grew worse. Sophia barely slept, barely ate, and stopped leaving the house except for work. Her eyes were glued to either the forum Carson had sent her with updated information or to the news on television, desperate for new information. But nothing ever came.

Dean noticed. Of course, he noticed. He never argued about all the nights in, never questioned why she had become so withdrawn, but it wasn't lost on Sophia how many worried looks he sent her way when he thought she wouldn't notice. He cooked and ordered all of her favorite foods and was more physically affectionate than usual, rarely spending a moment together without touching her in some way. He told her he loved her about every five minutes.

But she couldn't bring herself to tell him. She wanted to; she really did. And it would be the smart move. The only smart move. If she was a character in a movie, Sophia would be screaming at the screen for her to tell him, pulling her hair out as to why she was being so stupid. But every time she opened her mouth, the words failed to come.

She had a lot of excuses as to why she didn't say anything, but everything boiled down to one of two things. If she told him, either she was right, or she was wrong. And the outcome of either scenario terrified her.

If she was wrong, all that would mean was that she allowed the memory of Graham to cause trouble in their relationship, again. Dean would worry about her and the fact that she got so paranoid over nothing, but wouldn't be able to do anything to help that. It would be embarrassing and frustrating, and trying to figure out why Sophia jumped to that conclusion would consume her life.

And if she was right? Well, there were plenty of reasons why that would be terrifying, but it was the most terrifying of all that kept Sophia's mouth shut.

Dean would do anything to keep her safe, especially when it came to Graham. And so if he was coming after her and Dean found out about it? Graham would have to go through him before he could get anywhere near Sophia.

Dean would do anything to keep Sophia safe. But Sophia would also do anything to keep him safe. If Graham was coming for her, then he was coming for her. Nothing could change that. But he didn't want Dean. He hadn't killed any men. So Sophia would do everything in her power to keep Dean out of Graham's crosshairs.

So she kept quiet. She didn't tell Dean, she didn't tell Raina or her friends at the hospital. She didn't even tell Dr. Alvarez, who also clearly knew something was wrong, but allowed Sophia the space to bring it up only if she wanted to.

She forced down food even though her appetite was almost completely gone. She pretended to be asleep when Dean came home late from work and when he would wake up in the morning. They weren't anywhere near normal, but she did her best to keep their life together as normal as possible.

But inside, she was falling apart, the anxiety over Graham and the guilt over keeping Dean in the dark ripping her insides to shreds.

"Sophia!"

Sophia looked up from picking at her nails at the nurses' station to find Rocky the charge nurse staring at her, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. "Yeah, where do you need me, Rocky?" Sophia asked, clasping her hands behind her.

Rocky came over so she didn't have to yell. "Honesty, I need you to go home."

"What? Why?"

"Sophia, I don't know what's been going on with you lately, but you haven't really been here for days. You're exhausted all of the time, you're distracted, you've been horrible with patients, and right now, it's better not to have you here than have you here in this state."