Dustin was a printer guy, and Rivers Cuomo was in Weezer.
They had been going out for quite some time, because they met in a alleyway of a popular gay club ran by superstar Damon Albarn, which was an insane club and they both left to get some fresh air and snort their cocaine in peace. They traded coke, and also traded numbers, and that was what really sparked their romance.
On their first date, Dustin flat out asked Rivers if she had Down Syndrome, and Rivers was a tad bit offended so she considered not talking to him anymore but Dustin charmed Rivers with his childlike wonder and extensive music knowledge, so she kept seeing him.
Rivers decided to officially tell Dustin that he was her boyfriend, and to keep it out of the public eye because if any of the few straight Weezer fans would absolutely murder him and call him hateful slurs and spray paint the f slur and swastika on his house.
This relationship was getting serious, and it was getting harder and harder to hide. One other thing that was getting harder to hide was their relationship from both of their brothers.
Rivers decided to tell his brother, Leaves, first.
Leaves was immediately jealous, because of all the late nights and close sexual moments he had previously shared with his sister before he went off to do Weezer, and apparently thotted it up there because she came back with a whole boyfriend. Rivers had to pay Leaves a large sum of money and give a blowjob to his brother to not tell the public.
They told Matt Bellamy next, and he was neutral about it. He just said he was happy and that he wants to collab with Weezer next but that would be suspicious since they aren't otherwise linked.
Rivers.... well she wasn't doing too hot. She would get up and throw up in the morning and she would hear sqeaking sounds coming from her vagina.
"Dustin, I'm pregnant."
The 3 words every man named Dustin would want to hear. He immediately started making arrangements, but he quickly realized this would mean war. Their baby would be killed if they ever left the house, and bombs weren't hard to make. They both decided to gather their brothers and tell them together.
"Guys, we're pregnant" Rivers and Dustin said together.
Matt began to cry, and Leaves began scratching his balls.
They also had to break the other news to them, the fact that they weren't keeping it.
