As mentioned before, dustin was in charge of finding a suitable mother to take care of this child.
Dustin found a nice woman named stavey, she was a ginger and she liked cats and witches and shit and Dustin thought that was pretty cool so he played some Young The Giant and approached Stavey to ask if she would take care of his child.
Stavey was like "oh ok!" and took the kid from Dustin, and Dustin said
"I'll be back to get you soon, Kayden."
He wasn't ever coming back soon, for the year was 2018 and nobody means what they say in 2018.
5 years later!~
Kayden always had a lot of questions about his dad, like how old was he, did he have real nice hair, did he like adventure time?
Sure enough his dad did like adventure time, but he couldn't know who his dad was, not yet.
Stavey one day was feeling perverted, and kept looking up rivers cuomo on pinterest.
"He's so 'effin cute! I'm literally drooling hes so cute!" Stavey loudly exclaimed to her young son
"He looks like you so much, Kayden."
Stavey went as far as to assume that Rivers Cuomo could be Kayden's real father, and this was not an out of pocket assumption at all, especially since Stavey knew she wasn't his real mom.
She got more and more curious every day as to who the real mom to her adopted baby was, and that led her to believe insane things, like the fact that rivers cuomo could possibly be her son's biological mom.
Beginning with email, Stavey tried to reach Rivers on every platform that she could, starting with twitter which led her to see unhinged tweets like "what age do you have tinder set to," and "Cant talk. The old Rivers is dead.".
After this, she contacted rivers on her etsy account, asking about if she had any kids she should know about, then texted Rivers' best friend Brian Bell, and Brian Bell's Etsy account, and finally texted Leaves Cuomo, completely expecting no response from that weird little fuck.
Weeks went by, and Stavey almost completely forgot about her search for Rivers, until she got a message.
"Hey Stavey"
The message was from none other than Leaves Cuomo, regarding his sister Rivers.
"My sister did in fact give birth to a baby, and she did in fact give it away.
It all started when she got pregnant, because thats how pregnancy starts, and she told me and Matt Bellamy with her Boyfriend Dustin, but she didnt want her fans to know about Dustin so she decided to give birth and get Dustin to find someone nice to give the baby to.
If this happens to be you, please reach out further and I can arrange a meeting with the father, but not the mother, and only if the child is 5 years old.
Sincerely,
Leaves Cuomo."
Stavey was in shock, so she texted Leaves back and arranged a meeting.
They met at the nearest Dave and Busters, with Leaves helping Dustin and Stavey locate each other.
Dustin was wearing his best Rick and Morty t-shirt, and Stavey dressed Kayden in his best Gorillaz t-shirt and they shook each others hands.
"Hi, I'm your dad."
Kayden and Dustin both started tearing up, both refusing to break eye contact. They proceeded to have an intense father-son staring contact for 6 consecutive days, and they both lost at least 10 pounds during it.
The next step, was to meet the mama.
