Mr. You's fictitious marriage

Chapter 13

A/Notes:

Prepare yourselves, darlings!

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After a few days of unfading contentment with Qin Jiu's presence invading each and every aspect of his life, a tempestuous storm brewed in his heart. An unwelcome panic gripped his soul, like an old companion returning to torment him once again. This familiar dread, which had visited him in the past when a close person would distance themselves from him, now surged with a new intensity, scarier than ever before.

If something were to happen, and something always happened to him, would he be able to go back to the status quo? He was afraid to find the answer, as the warmth of the other's embrace in the mornings made him wish to wake up like that for the rest of his life.

Unbeknownst to him, Qin Jiu managed to crawl inside his shell and carve out a space for himself. If he were to leave, that shell would no longer fit You Huo like it did before. The void left behind would eternally serve as a poignant reminder of the absence of Qin Jiu's presence.

It was manageable to be alone before knowing the alternative. All that warmth, which is given away so freely and without restraint or any expectation of reciprocity. He yearned to etch every precious moment spent with Qin Jiu into the depths of his memory, preserving fragments of joy for when their time together would inevitably cease.

Yet Qin Jiu was way too discerning when it came to him.

"Darling, is there a weighty matter that preoccupies your thoughts?" One morning, he asked, his hand hugging You Huo's waist, drawing them closer still.

"It's nothing."

"Darling, you are pretty even when you're lying, but your poor husband would go bald worrying for your sake if you kept avoiding him like this!" exclaimed Qin Jiu, feigning a kicked puppy's whine.

You Huo closed his eyes and sighed. He turned on his back and gazed at the ornate ceiling above, filled with a mixture of irritation and resignation.

"It's just hard to explain. It's irrational and foolish."

"Don't you know that I like it the most when my darling is irrational and foolish?" It reminds me that I'm in love with a human being in mortal flesh, not with living perfection. Talking about that flesh, the mole on your left buttock, makes me want to...

"Enough! It's just that... What we have now... It wouldn't last for long; it makes me wonder." You Huo turned away, not being able to face Qin Jiu at the same time as he was speaking about his illogical fears.

"And why wouldn't it last, hm?" Qin Jiu didn't force him to look at himself, but his wandering hand found You Huo's cold fingers under the blanket. You Huo grabbed this lifeline; he wasn't ready to admit even to himself how much easier it was to speak with Qin Jiu's reassuring touch grounding him.

"Because it never does."

"Do you believe that something or someone could possibly make me leave my dearly beloved husband?"

"It's not like that. Something that I will do will make you want to leave or distance yourself. Maybe you will get bored eventually."

"Was it your mother who taught you to think like that? As if you're to blame for everything? I know you don't believe me right now, but nothing you can do will ever keep me away from you. Because I love you. My love doesn't stop with your first, second, or third mistake. You are allowed to make an unlimited number of mistakes with me, and when things happen, we will solve them together. You don't have to trust me now, and I wouldn't ask that of you now; I will prove all that with every week, month, year, and decade we will spend together. When we are old and gray and still waking up every day like this, that will be the time when I will ask you to believe in my love for you. How does that sound?"