Humanity (Carl Grimes Gay)

Burn

[Picture is Bailee . I'm so sorry she hasn't been in the recent chapters , I had completely forgotten about her - but if she had been in the recent ones ; she would've stayed at the Prison with Niyk and Lacey . I feel so stupid]
[Layne's point of view]

'I'm not sayin he's ... he's dead because i don't know if he is or not' I explain calmly , trying to be as gentle as possible

He rasps , tears falling from his eyes 'Oh ...'

'And Lux when back to get him , but there wasn't any luck'

He nods '...Do you ..?'

'Yeah , I'll let you be alone' I sigh 'You want me to bring up some supper ?'

He shakes his head 'N-no thanks . Tell Lux I said thank you , please'

'Goodnight , bud'

I let the mourning boy be alone for awhile as I go to my own cell and sit at the edge of the bed , sitting my elbows in my lap and plopping my face into my palms .

I really didn't want anymore deaths . We didn't need nor did we want more deaths . It was stressful .

You get to know these genuinely amazing people and then you're forced to watch them go down one by one . If you're lucky , you don't have to see them pass with pain . One shot is all it takes . One explosion . One knife to the head . One ax in the chest .

It's all stressful . I know - I shouldn't be complaining because most people have it worse than me . I just lost a whole bunch of people AND I haven't shaved in a week .

Well , comedy sure isn't helping the ball in my throat and the drop in my stomach .

Maybe I'm just fuckin with myself . Maybe this is all just a dream . Maybe I'm in a coma and I've never even met Carl before let alone met this terrible fate .

'Hey , bud' I hear a deep English accent husks near the door

Moving my hands down my face , I look up at Lux 'Hello'

'A couple of us are going outside for a bonfire to let off some steam , I think you should come'

'What're you guys gonna do ?'

'Burn bad memories' He grins

I shrug , giving it 'Fuck it , what's the worst that could happen'

'You could fall into the fire'

I chuckle 'Possibly'

-

'Alright' Lux claps his hands together 'Everyone has a ... pencil , pencil , pencil - Good ! I want you all to write down a horrible thing that happened to you since this thing occurred and hold onto it until everyone is done'

What could I possibly right down ? Losing my brothers ? Literally losing my sister and pa ? Almost getting killed because I wanted that one candy bar on that certain supply run ?

I was lost . I watched everyone jot down their experiences while I sat there looking like an idiot .

'Having a hard time , Layne ?' Lance asks , sitting down next to me

'Yeah , I don't ... I don't know what is bad enough to put down'

'Well , you lost a bit of your family , right ?' He fixes the purple backwards snap back on his head

'Yeah' I nod

'Well how bad did that mess you up ? Emotionally and Mentally ?'

'It fucked me up a lot' I scratch my cheek