Broken

Chapter: Twelve

-2087 words

"So are you excited about getting out of here?" Macy asks, her blond hair flying around her in a hazardous way. "Macy calm down, and stop pestering him, I'm pretty sure his answer won't change." Nicky grunts, shoving his cousin out of the way carelessly.

"Yes Mace, I'm excited." It comes out dull, instead of the forced happiness I try to put forth when she's around. Ever since last night, I couldn't shake this feeling off. I can't even describe it honestly, it's like a blanket of fear, disgust and sadness all mixed together.

Who knew that your own imagination could be so twisted, even twisted enough to make yourself relive the one thing that you fear the most in life.

What's really bothering me is that he never said any of that, everything that came out of his mouth, was made up by my brain. Is that really how I see it? Is it really all my fault, it feels like it. . .seems like it.

"-yder. Ryder baby." My head jerks up, and I stare into the worried blurry faces of Mace and Nicky.

Squeezing my eyes close, a tear rolls down my cheek and lands against the jacket that Macy brought from home for me. "Yeah, uh sorry. What were you saying? I zoned out, I'm sorry." I mumble, clearing the lump out of my throat.

"You ready, or are we forgetting anything?" Macy questions, her hand coming up to wipe away my tears.

"D-don't."

I flinch, my hand coming up to catch hers mid wipe. "Just not right now okay, please." I whisper my eyes connecting with hers.

A sad look crosses her face, and she slowly pulls back her hand. "Alright. . .if that's everything we should go, uh yeah let's uhh—" Mace sniffles and turns away from me. ", lets go. I'll be right back."

She rushes out of the room, her shoulders shaking slightly. Fuck! I'm always fucking something up! All I had to do was put a smile on and let her wipe my tears, but I couldn't even do that. I'm always hurting someone, even if I don't mean to.

I wish I would've died that day. I wouldn't have had that stupid ass nightmare! I wouldn't have made Macy cry, nor Nicholas. I wouldn't have to blame myself for every fucking thing that goes wrong.

"Stop, don't do this to yourself Хорошо?" Nicholas sighs, his hand coming down to run through my long fringe. "Do what? I'm not doing anything." He gives me this unbelieving stare for about a second, before shaking his head. "W-what does Korosho stand for?" I ask for sure butchering the word all to hell.

Stupid, idiot maybe.

"Хорошо, it means alright. . .ready love?" I sit my small backpack on top of my lap, and roll towards the door. "Can you explain to me why I have to ride around in a wheel chair again?" His hand grabs the bars and he pushes me out of the room, and into the hallway.

"It's mandatory, plus you haven't really walked in a while, so your muscles are weak. Mace, come on." He calls out, snagging Macy's attention from her phone.

Her wild blond hair swishes around her pretty features as she jog to catch up to us.

"Leo said he'd be pulling up in less than five minutes." I look up at the pair, as they exchange a few quiet words, though my eyes are mostly drawn to Mace. Her eyes are slightly swollen and red, making guilt eat at me.

"Hey Macy?" She peers down at me, a small smile on her face. "I'm sorry." I whisper, the sound barely audible.

"There's nothing to be sorry about Ry. I shouldn't have tried to touch you without permission babe. All is forgiven, hangout once you're out of here?" She asks her smile bigger.