Ramblings and Ruminations

Prompt: Alone

I don't know much about AI on the computer, but I do know that the damn thing can read my mind. I don't have to even touch the machine. If I just sit near it, I am getting ads popping up for the very thing I was thinking of.

Am I alone with this? Does it happen to you, too?

Just the other day I finished reading a David Baldacci book and wondered when his next one was coming out.

Later that day, I opened yahoo to check my emails. The first ad I got was from Books-a-Million announcing a new Baldacci in September and prompting me to pre-subscribe.

The second ad advised me that Chewy.com was running a sale on dog food. I had just emptied our last can that morning. Are they going through my garbage, too?

The ads always seem to have a reason I should act now.; a special sale, a one-day offer, or a close-out before they release the new models. I am most irked by the phrase, "This offer expires in xx hours..." And then they run the same ad for weeks. Do they think we are idiots?

You are nodding. You get the same thing.

They are everywhere. It's not just my email program, they ping my mobile, leave voicemails on my home phone, fill my mailbox with junk mail, and interrupt my games on my tablet. I even get them in the middle of the wattpad stories I am reading. 

Occasionally, I try to spoof it, just to see what would happen. I googled around-the-world cruises and clicked on a couple of the more exotic trips. Then I sat back and waited for the unbelievable offers to come in.

But the computer wasn't fooled. Instead of cruise ads, I received a dozen offers for debt relief, an ad for an app that would save me thousands if I bought everything through it, and a colorful video about a senior bus trip to Valdosta, Georgia, for the onion festival.

The bus trip wasn't bad. They had two bathrooms in the back and the organizers gave us free water and a coupon for pimento and onion sandwiches at the festival. I had two.

I have given up on trying to stop the ads. Instead, I have begun to realize that they are there to improve my life experience. I find myself grading them on grammar, and effectiveness. A believable call-to-action earns them extra points.

I even enjoy the phone calls. I have noticed, though, that they do not have very reliable telephone service. I am frequently cut off mid sentence when I am offering my critique of their pitch.

I spoke to a nice young man just yesterday. I didn't realize my car warranty had expired. He is helping me get it reinstated. When I explained that my kids had control of my credit cards, He helped me to set up a direct withdrawal from my checking account.

I just heard you gasp.

Don't worry.

The car was junked two years ago. The checking account has been closed for a while now.

I am old, but I ain't stupid.