Beautiful lies

10.

To

My future self

15 July 2023

Read this when you wish to be dead.

Writing this at the age of seveteen and more than a half years old, I am not so glad to tell you that recently I have been wishing to be dead. Life has been boring. Boring. Exhausting. Tiring. Most importantly, it is lowering down my confidence. I am able to do nothing these days. I am a fail in everything. I have lost all my spirits. Spirits to fight. Spirits to learn. Spirits to live. All the things around me tell me "go. die.you are nothing at all." I don't know what and how you are doing those days. But I hope you are doing well. If you aren't, I wish you do your best, not in a "Trying to die attempt" though. Do your best in fighting and living. For yourself. For those who need you. For those who love you. I know life might be difficult for you, as it is for me right now. All along this way you have been able to come to because you fought hard. You loved it. You never hated a struggling life. You never had a non struggling one. You are strong. Your will to live is strong. It's my suggestion to you to think about your frightful past. About your spirits to fight. About your strength.About those sleepless night you cried silently. About those efforts you have made to reach here. You did not made them so that you could die just after that. It's difficult but you are strong. It's dangerous but you are brave. It's complicated but you are smart. Smart enough to decide when to die. Now or After when you have done everything you wanted to do. Choose between a violent and a peaceful death.