Beautiful lies

13.

It's not poetry. It is a specific piece of prose I wrote. please give your love <3

it's been more than 2 years since we broke up. and i guess my life and me both have changed much after that. i have turned to the opposite of what i was 2 years ago. isn't it funny what a single incidence of your life can turn you to the opposite of what you were? I guess may be it is. i dont know how to explain it. It's not like i miss him. It's not like he has done any good to me. it was always like he hurt me and is still like that. well, i kicked him away from my fucking life. he can't hurt me anymore. It is not like he was there when i needed him the most. never. ever. he. was. Though i dont think about him much, but a part of me reminds me everyday what happened, just to make sure that i dont do the same mistake again. because if I ever did that again, i would not be able to handle it. My body might be alive after that, but my soul and me, both will be dead. dead. always dead. I will become the human being i never ever wanted to be. and another part of me still remembers what he was like when we met first. he was like a flower with a special type of fragrance i had never smelled before. he was like a cold and soft breeze. he was someone i never wanted to leave my life. because the day i met him, he was an addiction already. But who knew that that flower would one day become a thorn and would pierce my soul. I could forgive him, but how can you forgive someone who does not even ask for it, some one who is not at all regretful for the wrongs he did, someone who does not give a shit about you, what he did with you. how can you forgive them when they are not even asking for it? how can you! I have moved on from everything, but every time something happens like that, the terror of being betrayed comes again. I am sitting in the balcony looking at the sky, wondering what have happened if he did not come in my life. Would I be the same stupid girl trusting people? My life was going well until yesterday, when I saw him. Not in real life, on someone's story. IT WAS IRRITATIN AND FRUSTATING. I HOPE IT WAS.BUT I WAS AMAZED AT THE FACT THAT I DID NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM ANYMORE. INDEFFRENCE QUEEN. INDIFFERENCE. Well, girl, You have changed. I know I am changed. But a part inside still craves for love. A lot. It wants the love it deserves. And I did not know that that kind of love will be given to me by a guy whom I barely knew. The guy who made me feel like my first love again. The guy who made me believe on the fact that love is beautiful. The guy who gave me all the love I deserve. More than that though. whatever. He is mine now. I hope the story ends with us. both. Him. and. Me. Both.