walls in the past

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The walls I built were all I had.

But now there are holes.

From the bullets that never missed 

Maybe the guilt is what made these walls so fragile.

Or maybe the thought of losing....

But its not what matters now 

Just me and these memories

In my head I replay every single moment. every night.

Soaking my pillow with the tears of hurt, of shame, of being a burden.

But when the morning comes there is a smile on my lips,

 Not of joy, not of happiness

But of being better than yesterday

In hiding the tears I keep in my heart.

Sometimes I wish these smiles could turn real. 

Or I could remember when they turned fake.

Everything I tried was never enough. 

No matter what I do 

And now when I am too broken to keep going,

I found something or rather someone.

Giving my time to them until that one day when they are gone...

From my heart

From my life 

Leaving my heart in dust.

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