Confessions

XXX

Halle POV

"Why are you acting like nothing happened?! She had money this entire time and had us sleeping in a fucking car, don't you think we need answers?" I asked B as her and I sat in her studio...

She had read the note and hid it somewhere we couldn't find now she's acting like there was nothing on there! She was really pissing me off acting like everything was cool when it wasn't, she hasn't even mentioned anything about it!

"Your mom gave me very specific instructions...and i am going to respect her wishes" Beyoncé said and i rolled my eyes in annoyance

"Can you at least tell me something that will ease my mind? If you found out you've been living a lie for your entire life you'd be a little pissed off too!" I said getting a little emotional just thinking about it

I felt myself on the verge of having a breakdown so I just squeezed her hand and started counting.

My therapist says the reason i keep having these anxiety attacks and breakdowns is because I've been suppressing my feelings for too long. I've become so used to pushing everything I've been through to the back of my mind now that it's all coming to the forefront, i couldn't control myself

"You handled that beautifully... you see therapy really is working" Bey said and i huffed in frustration knowing she was deflecting

"Fuck you" i said out loud on accident and surprisingly Bey just laughed.

I liked that about her, she had tough skin and she didn't take things we said to heart. She understood us and what we came from

"Good to know how you really feel" she said sarcastically and i began feeling really bad for what i had just said knowing everything she's been through to help us

"I didn't mean that... I'm sorry" i said sighing looking down in my lap.

"in the letter your mom called you a hothead but i don't get that vibe from you... Chloe definitely but not you" Bey said and now it was my turn to laugh

"Nahh she's right, I gave my mom hell... we fought a lot!" I said and she looked like she didn't believe me.

I will say, I've come a long way from the bad ass i used to be but everyday I have to live with the fact that my mom never got to see how much i changed.

"That doesn't even sound right" Bey told me and I just shook my head in embarrassment knowing how terrible i was

"I was just really protective of my sister. There was a lot of things i could handle that i knew Chloe couldn't and my mom just didn't understand that" i explained to her

"What do you mean by that?" She asked me and i looked over at her.

"Believe it or not Chloe wasn't always the Chloe she is today. She was shy and naive, she didn't really understand the things we were going through like i did. She didn't understand why she didn't have a dad like everyone else or why we couldn't have sleepovers and huge birthday parties like the girls at school... she cried every night and i guess i just felt like mama wasn't putting enough into her" i admitted

"Over time you get sick of seeing your other half cry herself to sleep and your mom not there doing about it. I started getting really angry you know, i was angry at her... kinda how blue was but worse. I was fighting my mom everyday" I said shaking my head laughing a little bit

"She beat my ass every time but i held my own... lord knows how much i regret it now though" i said laying my head on her shoulder

I just sighed knowing i could never get that time back with my mom. She was gone and i didn't even get a chance to apologize for what i said or did! I loved my mom, she was my everything and i treated her just as bad as everyone else and for what?

"I know... i read the letter you wrote to blue" she said and immediately my head shot up in confusion

"Well damn you just made me go on that long winded emotional ass speech when you knew all that in the first place" i said and she just laughed causing me to shove her a little

"Ight Floyd Maywether. I'm not your mama, you don't want these problems" she said and i scoffed laughing at her

"Oh yeah what are you gonna do? Sing me to death" I asked her looking her up and down.

Before i could even look back at the top of her head she just started tickling me! I was flabbergasted, this bitch was really tickling me and winning

I was flapping around screaming like a little bitch, she didn't even stop either. I was trying to hold back as much as i could but it felt like i was about to jump out of my skin

"PLEASE YOU WON! YOU WON" i screamed to her and she finally stopped but instead of letting me go she just held me.

"Your mom told me to tell you that she was proud of you for protecting your sister and that she wanted you to keep it up." She told me and i just looked up at her to see if she being serious

"She also said something about taking care of Uzi and Draco, not sure why she wants you taking care of guns but that's what she said" bey said shaking her head in judgement oblivious to the fact that she was talking about dogs.

i gasped realizing we left our dogs at the old house alone with no food of water

"Oh my god- our dogs!" I covered my mouth in horror, there's no telling what the hell happened to our babies! They could be dead and gone by now..

"Y'all named your dogs after guns?" Bey asked me and i laughed at how country she said gun. She was definitely a true southerner

"It's a long story..." i told her shaking my head at how we went about naming our dogs

We both kinda sat in silence for a little, i really just let my moms word sink inside for a minute. I loved my moms and knowing that she was proud of me meant everything. I made a lot of mistakes in my life and there were truly times where i thought my life was over but I'm still here and i know it's because of her

"On a serious note... i appreciate you for being so transparent and real with Blue. I know it may not seem like it but you and the rest of the girls really gave us the reality check we needed. We gotta do better as a family" Bey told me and i sighed

"I'm glad i could help" I smiled playing with the necklace that had a few of my mothers ashes inside it

"You heard that WE gotta do better as a family. Meaning all of us" Bey said causing me to look up at her with confusion

I didn't understand what she was trying to imply. I never asked to be apart of her family, i wasn't down with forcing something that just wasn't gonna work. I already had a family, it's only three of us but we're all we got and that's enough for me

"Come on Bey, all that isn't necessary" i told her shaking my head

"Look i know we aren't in the best position right now and I'm sorry for everything I've said and done but most importantly the things that haven't done that i know hurts the most" bey told me

"Beyond anything that happened, your mom was my sister... estranged definitely but she was still my sister and i loved her. Unfortunately she isn't here to hear those words come out of my mouth, but you and your sister are a part of her and if this is gods unserious way of giving me a second chance with her I won't mess this up!" Bey hugged me tighter than she ever has before

"You girls are my family..."

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Chapter 30!!!

Beyoncé and Halle? How do you feel about this relationship

Halle's relationship with her mom? Do you think this is why Halle acts the way she does now?

Beyoncé calling the girls her family ?