I wrote this at 1 am last night. I'm not joking. The Google Doc says, "Last Edited 1:32 am."
Word Count: 890
TWs: Emotional Spiral, Repeated Mentions of Death
This oneshot contains spoilers for City of Gold and Nectar of Immortality! If you haven't read either of those yet, look away!
_
Aiden was now one hundred percent sure he had absolutely no control over his life.
First of all, he had to hang out with Rudy all the time. Which he wasn't mad about, per se, just annoyed. But, in all honesty, anyone would be annoyed if they had to hang out with their cousin all the time. And they'd be even more annoyed if that cousin had a crush on your best friend's sister.
Secondly, there was Aru. Aru also kind of tied in with the third thing that Aiden hated.
The prophecy.
It was probably the bane of his existence right now.
The prophecy stated, "Beware Aiden Acharya, the girl you love will be the death of you." Which was just wonderful because:
1) He was going to die. He couldn't even convince himself that the prophecy wasn't about him because it mentioned him by name. There wasn't any false meaning to it. He couldn't read in between the lines. It was simple. He was going to die.
2) It implied that he loved someone. Probably romantically. And there was only one person Aiden was avoiding for this reason.
Aru.
If Aiden was being completely honest with himself, he wasn't sure how he felt about Aru. It was just different from his other friends. There was something there that set her apart and made her shine.
But he couldn't be in love with her. Because he swore he was never going to fell in love. It didn't matter if she was Arjuna the Triumphant and he was Princess Draupadi. It didn't matter that his stomach turned every time their eyes met. He couldn't fall in love. If there was anything Aiden learned from his parents, it's that love always ended up in flames.
He remembered everything before the divorce. He remembered the arguments his parents had. He remembered the way his dad made him pick sides. He remembered leaving his house and going to Brynne's instead. He remembered taking long walks because he couldn't stay there any longer. He remembered worshiping those seven hours of school where he could be away from it all. He remembered how he'd turn up Taylor Swift to full volume to drown out the screams.
He still hated screams.
The fact that Aiden's mom had given up everything, literally everything, for his dad and it still wasn't enough? That was all the proof Aiden needed to know that love wasn't real.
So Aiden couldn't love Aru. It was as simple as that.
And if Aiden was being completely honest with himself (something he rarely did, it was easier to hide from your emotions), he was scared. He was so terrified that nausea was constantly rolling in his stomach and his heart had permanently pressed itself against his ribcage.
He was scared of his own emotions. He was scared to be alone with Aru because then everything just might spill out of him and he wouldn't be able to stop until everything was out in the open.
But his heart betrayed him. On her birthday, Aru had caught him alone. She had asked why he was avoiding her. What his problem was. She was angry. She asked if he hated her.
I could never hate you. Aiden had thought. That's the problem. Hate would be so much easier than love.
"Of course not." That was what he said instead.
Aru had gone into a whole rant about how Aiden was ignoring her. And it hurt. It hurt because Aiden knew it was all true, no matter how much he wanted to deny it. It hurt because he felt so guilty to see how much his fear had hurt her. Hurting Aru was the last thing he wanted to do.
And then, the worst yet best part, Aru had said she liked Aiden.
That was when Aiden betrayed himself. His heart was stronger than his head.
He kissed her.
But what about the prophecy? whispered a tiny voice in his mind.
Aiden had no idea at that moment. But when he pulled away, he forgot about the prophecy. Because Aru's smile was so genuine and dorky and huge that Aiden fell in love with her all over again at that moment.
And then it all shattered.
But that was a different story.
The point was, all of this is what had been going through Aiden's head the entire morning. It had been going through his head since the second his mom woke him up and he brushed his teeth and rushed breakfast. It was the only thing on his mind when he got ready for the wedding his fellow Potatoes were going to crash and when his mom said she was coming with him. And he was agonizing over it right now, lying on his bed, about to walk across the street to Aru's house.
And then it finally hit him what he was supposed to do. He had to let go of Aru. He was going to have to backtrack, and say that kiss was a mistake. And doing that was going to kill him.
But it didn't really matter. He was going to die anyway because of the Girl He Loved.
He was going to die. Because of Aru.
Not because of Aru. Because he didn't love Aru.
Yes he did.
He just couldn't.
_
Um...yeah. That's it. I was feeling angsty for no reason okay?
Honestly, this is what I thought Aiden was going through for the last few books. He was scared to fall in love, die, end up like his parents, and more. And he felt guilty about how he made Aru feel during her big confession.
Okay. Bye.
