Dear Jack

Chapter Eleven

My mum waved us goodbye from the porch as we awkwardly (we'll I felt awkward) walked off to this mysterious cafe Jack had found by the sea. I tucked my hands into my jacket pockets and held my arms close to my centre trying to poorly hide my bandages. I don't know why I'm hiding them, I served Jack AND HIS FAMILY in bandages and countless other customers. I'm almost certain a man of his intelligence would know what bandages on both wrists would mean.

Not to mention he got my bloodied breakdown letter.

At first I walked slowly by his side, head down facing the sidewalk and tried to listen to the birds chirp but I was distracted by how Jack stood tall and how his face was towards the sun. He was taking in the entirety of the neighbourhood. If I held my head up properly, I reckon I'd meet his shoulder. Jack was so tall, but I've always been attracted to taller men.

"You know not much has changed about this neighbourhood" he cracks the silence between us.

I was confused. "What do you mean?" I asked from beside like a scared little kid.

"I grew up here. My family still lives in the same house we grew up in. My siblings and I would wave hello to Mrs Miller every morning on the walk to school and the walk home and I still do everytime I come home. Hell, I even took my first ever date to the seaside markets just so I could buy her a milkshake" Jack finished with a giggle.

I was lost in thought immediately when I realised Jack and I literally grew up in the same neighbourhood a few blocks away and I didn't even notice. He was so close yet so far. I wondered if Tom knew he was there too. I wondered if he and Tom ever hung out at school together. Tom and I would wave to (I still do as well) Mrs Miller and admire her beautiful garden and our mother used to take us to the markets some days.

I began to ponder if we'd ever crossed paths. I wondered if he would be the boy walking across the street on the way to school I'd see sometimes. I determined it was unlikely Jack and I would cross paths for the fact that he was Tom's age and he would hang out with girls. Any guy I seemed to find attractive would be with a girl and I'd immediately look away as they were clearly straight. I eventually found Rian and kinda learned to keep my head down from then on.

We continued to stroll down to the road and in and out of awkward silence and small talk and I eventually figured Jack was taking me down towards the Seaside Markets. "We're here" Jack smiled at me. The markets were busy and people were everywhere. There were couples, families, people on skateboards and roller skates and people walking their dogs. Half naked women in activewear are running and creepy men are wandering shirtless not too far behind. But the sight of the soft bay was nice.

I pulled my sleeves down as far as they could go and I gripped them with all the strength I had. My anxiety began to rise in my chest because of the extraordinary amount of people around I was convinced were staring at my bandages, but I tried my best to swallow it and keep it down. It made my legs shake but I tried to stay close to Jack. I stood just behind his side, exactly where Rian made me walk. Not quite next to him, but not too far that I could get away or wander off.

Jack stopped immediately when he noticed I'd dropped behind, I almost bumped into him. "I'm sorry" I apologise immediately. I kept my head down for fear that I might have upset Jack. Instead, Jack chuckled lightly, assuring me I have nothing to apologise for, that it was actually his elbow that could have hurt me. He also asked why I was walking behind him.

"I don't know. Old habits I guess" I shied away. Jack took a step back to be exactly by my side and encouraged me to walk on, telling me we weren't too far from the coffee shop. I see him nudge his arm but immediately put it back down to his side. I felt a strange sensation in that small, nothing moment. A brief imagination of Jack wrapping his arm around my shoulder to hold me closer, but that was inappropriate. Jack was a new friend and definitely not into guys like that. Guys don't hold other guys.